Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween!

I figured that I would post one of my favorite paintings by the biggest baddest Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo. In this painting you can see Frida sleeping on her bed with a skeleton hovering over her. She was always obsessed with images of death, perhaps because of all the tragedies that she had in her life. She was a product of the Mexican revolution, she beat polio at a young age, survived a horrendous trolley accident when a pole went through her pelvis and vagina area and broke her pelvis and back, and many other devastating health issues throughout her life.

Here's the painting:

You can read more about Frida Kahlo in my beginning series about Frida Kahlo:
An Unconventional Woman of Her Time-Frida Kahlo
Frida Kahlo-Woman of Myth, Contradiction and Resilience

One of these days I'll get back to finishing my series. Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What Would You Like in Your Coffee??

OMG this is too funny! polkadotjunkie put the link in my post that I wrote the other day about my boyfriend's mother telling me that I should serve him a plate of food:

Feminist Fairy Tales: These Magic Boots

This is how I plan on indoctrinating my kids if I ever decide to have children. Yes, I said indoctrinate:

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mi Pobre Hijo, My Ass

Tonight I heard something come out of my boyfriend's mother's mouth and I wanted to ring her neck. It's not as if I haven't heard what she said come out of her mouth before, but tonight I was feeling in one of those moods where it was impossible to tolerate stupid behavior from a fellow woman.

My boyfriend, his mother and I were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about his brother having just placed a bid on a foreclosed house. His mother gave me an apple to eat and I stood up to wash it off at the kitchen sink. As I was standing there, she said, "Mi'jo [my son] wants a plate of food".

I turned around to look at him because we had just eaten prior to going to her house. He stared at me with a smirk on his face, because I'm sure that he was well aware that shit was going to soon hit the fan and sparks were going to start flying.

I said, "We just ate. He doesn't want anything".

She said, "Oh, yes he does. I know he does. Please serve him a plate of food."

Are you antagonizing me, bitch?

I said, "If he's hungry he can make a plate for himself".

She said, "Oh, mi pobre hijo!!! (my poor son). He has a woman who doesn't even care if he starves to death."

I flipped around and told her, "If your pobre hijo wants something to eat, then he can make his own damn plate. And he can serve me a nice plate too, while he's at it".

Then she said, "Oh, I wish he would have married a nice girl like Marielena. She would have given him a plate".

Who, the Marielena on the corner with four kids and a cheating husband? Marielena the doormat? I don't think so.

I sat there for another twenty minutes and listened to her whine about whether or not I would ever marry her son, how we should live together, when will we ever have children, why will I not baptize my children if we ever decide to have children, blablabla. I wanted to slap the hell out of her, but honestly she is very, very ill and I just didn't have it in me to beat the shit out of a sick, old lady. So I just let her go on and on.

This is the thing about so many Latina mothers that makes me want to vomit. This kind of mentality has been shoved down my throat since I was a wee little girl. I'm so sick of watching Latina women baby and coddle their pobre little hijos. It happened to me as a child with my brother, it happens in my family, and I've even seen some of my former friends do it when they have little boys. Enough already, please. I would like to hope that my generation is not pulling this same crap, but deep in my heart I know that many of them are.

It's little things like these, that even happen in our very own families, that the unconventional women of the world have to deal with on an everyday basis.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Down With Judgmental Feminists

Something happened online today that has irked me. I will not call out a certain person, because I don't really want to publicly flog another woman. (Well, unless she's a right-wing neocon or something).

Nonetheless, I am pissed at a certain online feminist who has been continuously making negative statements about certain women. I'm tired of her snide remarks about prostitutes and women who she considers to be whores.

I suppose that I am in that whore camp, say it loud and say it proud bitches. I've have my fun in the past with no-strings attached affairs, I've dabbled in online affiliate porn marketing, and I know a ton of people who work in the sex industry.

It's really funny. At one point, this feminist threw a passion party and discussed that she really loved it. Ohhhh rreeeeaallllyyy? I'd pretty much classify the lady who is selling the sex toys at that passion party to be a big ole legal sex worker.'m.concerned. So, this judgmental bitch employs a sex worker and then turns around and slams women who are in the sex industry? Ridiculous.

I've had my share of this type of judgmental feminist in real life and online, thank you very much. It's always hilariously entertaining to me when they blog or talk about certain women in the past, read the books or poetry of certain women, obsess over women artists, and then turn around and criticize openly sexual women. I practically roll around on the ground laughing my ass off because most of the famous women who they are talking about were scandalous and indulgent whores. Hehe.

There's no fun in being a jealous little prude!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fuck All You Bitches

Warning-rant alert.

I'm so royally irritated with people today that my post probably will be as incoherent as hell. But I suppose even an incoherent rant will make me feel better.

I'm so sick of petty, immature, I'm-still-in-highschool types of bitches at work. So very tired. It's totally contrary to what my soul believes about women and feminism. Fuck all these assholes-I'm just gonna throw in the towel and they can fucking wallow in their own damn oppression for all I care. I'm not going to fight their battle any more when they are apparently okay with being shit on.

And most of these fucking Latina bitches around me make me want to puke my guts out. If I have to sit around a bunch of Latina bitches who tiptoe around men and "Yes, Mr. so-and-so" them anymore while the men call them by their first name....I will just vomit. I can't fucking take it anymore. I suppose that catholic church taught you bitches how to serve your master well. Yeah, I said it, cabronas.

Excuse me pendejas while I'm getting ready to go to bed to face a ten or twelve or even fourteen hour day tomorrow because I want to make this world a better place for the children who live in this community. This community that you bitches used to live in, that you left, and you now think all these kids should bow down and kiss your ass because you drive in and out of town quickly to fuck up these kids--you know, that thing that you do all day that you *think* is called teaching?!?!

While I'm busting my ass on my long day tomorrow, I sure know what you'll be doing. Why, you'll be on facebook talking all your shit about me, my training, my employees, *GOOD* teachers who love the kids and you bitches are completely jealous of. You'll be spreading lies about some of those young and enthusiastic female teachers-ruining their reputation, isolating them and trying to drag them down into your fucking highschool cestpool.

Or maybe you'll be busy whining about some policy that I wrote, or didn't write quickly enough. Or bitching that something isn't mandatory, and then bitching because something is mandatory. Or you'll be reporting ME to the union because YOUR stupid bitch lazy ass didn't do YOUR fucking job. Or writing really stupid and rude emails while cc'ing it to everyone and their mama. Asshole.

And then after all that you'll be sending me emails kissing my ass, asking me for a letter of recommendation, asking to work for me while you are on vacation, and otherwise kissing my ass until you are blue in the face.

So you are on your own this week bitches. I'm only pulling my eight hours and nothing more. And you'll notice that I'm gonna snarl at you this week instead of my cool, calm and collected demeanor that I usually maintain. Snarl at you and file away all of those facebook screen shots and emails that'll be useful one of these lovely days.

In the meantime, I'll be hanging out with or helping women who want to uplift other women, or maybe even nursing the wounds of some of the young ones who you jealous bitches have torn apart.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Workplace Chameleon

I've always been the type of person who likes to compartmentalize my life. Many years ago my work life, my personal life, my friends, and even my hobbies seemed to all be intertwined. Over the years though I've grown to compartmentalize each of these aspects of myself.

I work my ass off all day long and I tend to not want to hang around with any of the same people who I see all day long. In the past, I've been stabbed in the back by people who I once trusted in the workplace context, so I'd prefer that people know as little about me as they need to know. I prefer to keep my relationship with my boyfriend and my outside-of-work friends and things that I do pretty top secret from people who I work with. I bust my ass off all day long and I just want to come home and have my own little sanctuary away from work.

I'm sort of like a chameleon, with the masks I slip on and off changing according to the situation I am in. I'm one person when I am at work. I'm a completely other person when I am outside of my typical workplace and am working on consulting gigs. I'm at my purest sense of self when I am online and with some of my closest friends. But underneath it all I am sort of really the same person, morphing and playing different roles in various contexts.

Take the workplace context. I want to curse all day long, insult people, shout out that they are a jackass. I'm thinking all of this delightful stuff, of course, and yet I can't just run around and act in such a manner because it would scare the shit out of some of the timid types of people who I am supposed to be leading.

So I walk around, wear a mask, and try to play somewhat *normal*. If that makes any sense. I mean, I try not to scare the shit out of people and intimidate them. I try not to stare at people too hard with a poker face, try not to speak in too "direct" of a manner where it makes half of the employees shake in their fucking boots. I try not to be too dominant, too assertive or too aggressive. It's like being on a fucking stage all day long.

Deep down inside though, they all know that I am just going through the motions and I'm not showing them all my cards. In fact, you should hear the rumors that swirl around about me. I'm larger than life. I'm always shocked when I hear the latest rumor, or the latest thing that I've supposedly done or said. As I sit here writing this blog, I'm chuckling to myself at some of the silly teachers on facebook with open profiles who are writing complete nonsense about me. They're grasping at straws, really.

Ahh, social media! Thanks, ladies, for fueling my imagination and giving me a few new masks to wear at work the next time I see you. Or maybe I'll choose a persona that's completely opposite of what you think about me.

I'm going to have tons of fun with this over the next few days.

Connoisseurs of the 48 Laws of Power might immediately recognize a few of the laws of power, no? If you are unfamiliar with the laws, rest assured that we'll talk more about how women can use them to their advantage at a later time. Another book that's been helpful in refining the masks that you might wear is The Corporate Dominatrix: Six Roles to Play to Get Your Way at Work.

Frida Kahlo Book Giveaway Winners

I threw everyone's name into a basket and picked the following three winners of the Frida Kahlo biography:
  • Linda
  • Marcia
  • Walking Queen
Please send a mailing address to badassfemmes(at)yahoo(dot)com by the end of the week. If you don't send your mailing info by Friday, I will pick from one of the remaining people who wanted the book!

~Thank you~

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Women and Money: Don't Let Yourself Get Screwed

Lately I have been thinking a lot about women and money. More specifically, I've been mulling over how women get screwed over by a former loved one when it comes to money.

I first started thinking about it when I was writing my blog post about the movie Capitalism, because I mentioned in the post that around the time of the stock market crash that the majority of the women in my workplace had no idea of how their money was invested because their husbands handle most of the investment decisions. On my planet, this is a possible financial disaster waiting to happen on so many levels.

I thought about it even more when I just recently watched one of Joy Behar's shows. She had the comedian Kathy Griffin on the show and Kathy discussed having divorced her husband because she found out that her wonderful husband was stealing money from her.

Yesterday I was reminded yet again of the topic of women and money when I read online about Absent Minded Oracle's husband putting her into a financial hole. And yet another time when I read in a post about how Single Mom Survives lost her dream home that she had worked so hard to get when she went through the divorce with her husband.

My lovely breakfast this morning was yet another reminder of this particular issue.

I just had a lovely brunch with my mentor and she told me about the story of her divorce. She had been married to her wonderful and financially successful husband for over ten years. He was a brilliant man and made almost $300,000 over twenty years ago. He was a wonderful husband and father. She had everything that she ever wanted.

She was a college professor and one evening when she arrived at her house there were a ton of police officers and an ambulance carting her husband away to the hospital. The police informed her that her husband had suffered from a drug overdose and was being transported to the hospital for recovery.

She claims that in retrospect she never saw any inkling that suggested that he was a drug addict. What he always portrayed to her was nothing but a hard worker, a loving provider, and a doting husband and father.

Throughout the weeks, she found out that her husband first became addicted to cocaine and his addiction later morphed into heroin. He begged for her to give him another chance and he entered rehab. Being the doting Catholic wife that she was, she gave him another chance because she wanted to make it work for the sake of her one year old daughter. He admitted to her that he had been spending thousands and thousands of dollars on drugs over a period of a couple of years. She never noticed it because he was making tons of money and he took care of most of the finances.

They began to rebuild their life together and she started to be more assertive regarding the finances. She opened up a checking account in her name and began to monitor his finances so that she could keep tabs on whether it appeared that he might be using drugs again. Everything seemed to be going well, until one day when she went to the bank.

She went to the bank to make a deposit from her personal checking account and she was told that the $30, 000 that had been in her account was gone. Apparently her husband had somehow convinced the bank manager to give him a card with his name on it. How he was able to get a card, she will never know. She suspects that it may have had something to do with the fact that her husband had made business connections in the banking and finance industry.

My mentor packed up her child, left him for good and filed for divorce. It was then that she found out that for over five years he had been taking out loans from those fly by night loan companies, so that she would not notice that money was missing from his banking account. He had accumulated over $250, 000 in debt. She also discovered that all of the money that they had been diligently saving in their retirement account was gone.

During the divorce, he quit his job and disappeared for a couple of years.

She told me that she ended up paying over $100,000 in debt. In retrospect, she claims that she should have just filed for bankruptcy, but at the time she never considered the option. It took her over ten years to pay off his debt. Ten long years and now she's got little money in her retirement account.

"If only I would have asked to see the bank statements in the beginning. If only I would have checked my credit report on a frequent basis, I would have seen that there were loans being opened in our names. At the time I didn't even know where to look at the balance of our retirement account, and didn't find out that there was no money in the account until after I hired a lawyer during the divorce", she stated to me.

I've heard my share of these types of stories from friends, family members and co-workers who have gone through divorce. And I always ask myself, "How is it that these women had no inkling that their husbands were financially ruining them?"

But this doesn't only happen to women who are married to shady men who bleed them dry and then divorce them. Women can financially suffer by going through a typical divorce and later losing what they have worked so hard for because they have to share the assets or they can't afford to maintain their standard of living on one income. Women can be financially screwed if their husband dies. Or, women can be married for their entire lives and be screwed later in their retirement because their husband didn't invest any money. The list can go on and on.

Moral of the story: Protect yourself by always knowing about your finances, even if you are married to the best man out there because your wonderful husband might not be financially savvy himself. If you don't know the first thing about money, investing, etc, then I suggest you get your ass to work and start learning about it. It's a lot less intimidating than many women think.

Do not let yourself get screwed. By not knowing where your money is, you might be putting yourself in a bad situation.

Has something like this ever happened to you or a woman that you know?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Three Smart Asses You Should Meet

I love smart asses. So here are three smart asses that you might want to get to know:

Absentminded Oracle: She's a smart ass, a meanie and can be as feisty as hell at times. I'm so delighted in her smart ass behavior that yesterday we just discussed awarding *Team Mean* awards to bitchy bloggers. Absentminded Oracle is a psychologist and can drink like a sailor. You might remember her from her guest post here on Nikki Giovani. She also goes by @pinksugacupcake on twitter.

Single Mom Survives: She's another smart ass who can make any sailor blush with that feisty mouth of hers. She's funny as hell and has a strong snark streak. Even her little four year old daughter is following in her footsteps! She blogs a lot in a smart ass way about issues with being a single mother. Single mothers are near and dear to my heart, and most especially so when they are of the obnoxious persuasion! She goes by @singlmomsurvives on twitter.

Mely Speaks
: She's a newly single mother who blogs about being newly single and is currently hitting the pavement looking for a job. I have tons of fun reading her blog! Mely is an undercover sex kitten and oh wait, is she really undercover? You can find her on Mely Speaks and she also writes for Sex and the Mom. She goes by @melysas on twitter, but you will need to send her a request to follow her because she recently protected her updates when she found out her mother was reading her twitter stream and had a meltdown over what she saw!

Do you know of any other smart ass bloggers??

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Pigs Get Slaughtered

I went to see "Capitalism: A Love Story" today. I desperately want to blog about it, but I've been at a loss as to which blog I should include it on. I first thought about writing it on my Stocks and Bondage blog (hehe, you probably think I'm kidding about that blog, don't you??), then I thought that I should also put it on this Bad Ass Femmes blog. Why? Because I think that if there is one thing that a kick-ass-take-no-prisoners kind of woman should understand is...everything that has to do with money.

I'll first start with a couple of disclaimers. I am a woman full of contradictions. First off, I am a big ole capitalist whore. At the same time I am a big ole socialist whore. Every month my mailbox is just as stuffed with Forbes and other money magazines as it is with socialist newspapers from various socialist parties. I read the Wall Street Journal online just as much as I read the socialist Monthly Review. In reality, I believe the theoretical principals of capitalism can be just as distorted by humans as the practice of socialist theory. I also personally believe that we need a little bit of both, a blend of both systems.

Second, I own tons and tons of stock in huge companies. And I have made tons and tons of money off of these very large companies. I'm partly complicit when these companies fuck the little guy. At the same time, I have always considered myself to be a social justice advocate and believe that in a perfect world wealth would be distributed evenly. But it's not. And I refuse to sit around and be the tonta (i.e., idiotic) martyr and fuck myself over just because I want to prove a point. If we are living in a capitalist system, I am going to learn the game and benefit myself and others.

One might say that I have done very well for myself, financially speaking, but I don't bat an eye in the least when people discuss raising taxes. If that is the only think that I have to be concerned about, then I'd say that I am in a pretty privileged position. I make more money so I should make a more sizable contribution to this world. However, although I am a big fat capitalist whore, I would gladly cut my yearly earnings in half in a heartbeat if it meant that everyone in this country were able to be on the same playing field.

Now on to my conflicted ideas of the movie.

I love Michael Moore. I've seen everything he has ever produced, read everything he has written, and love, love, love him. I'm sure Michael is living such a life of similar contradictions-right Michael?

Yet I couldn't help feeling conflicted throughout the whole entire movie. I felt that there was a missing link.

Don't get me wrong-oh the horror of those big ole capitalist wolves fucking over the little guy, fucking over our country and then standing there with their greedy hands out demanding money for the disaster that they caused. I'm always giddy when I see someone sticking it to the big man and exposing all their dirty laundry. But really, are they the only ones at fault here?

Notwithstanding the poor people and old folk who were completely lied to by many of these companies, but are these greedy capitalists the only ones complicit in this debacle? No! Not in the least.

There's an entire aspect of the whole situation that is visibly missing from the movie. Throughout the entire movie, I thought to myself, "When do consumers also take responsibility for this mess?"

I personally know of more educated, upper middle class people than working class people who lost their homes because they got one of those ridiculous mortgages. Greedy middle class and upper middle class consumers who bought into the propaganda of the mortgage companies and other large companies merely because they also are greedy little pigs who wanted something that was too good to be true. In fact, I told numerous people on numerous occasions before all of this occurred that they should not get the mortgages, and yet they failed to listen and later lost their houses.

I'm talking about people who earn at least $80,000 or more, and most of them are married with two incomes. People who should know better. People who could have afforded a decent priced house, but decided that they wanted what they couldn't afford. I knew that they were getting duped, so am I supposed to feel sorry for them because they got fucked over? I most certainly don't. Some of these people make more money than me when they combine their incomes.

Before the stock market crashed, I watched these same greedy little fellows pour money into the stock market like a bunch of fools. One educated idiot at work borrowed money to buy stock, pulled money out of the equity in his house to buy stock, and gambled the stock market like he was in a casino. I repeatedly warned him what any non-idiot would know, "You DO NOT borrow money to invest money". I warned over and over and over. He would come in, puff up his chest and explain to me in a patronizing manner that he would use the money from dividends that he earned in order to pay off his debts for borrowing the stock. And then boom-one day he lost everything.

As the saying goes, "Bulls make money, bears make money, and pigs get slaughtered". If you invest in the stock market and don't know what I'm talking about, I suggest that you get off your ass and find out. And if you're a greedy pig and let the big men in suits dupe you, then quit pointing the finger and accept your own complicity in the matter.

When the entire stock market crashed on a historical level, I went to work every day and talked everyone's ear off about the whole mess. Seventy-five percent of the people (who all make over $100,000 per year, by the way) didn't even know that the fucking stock market had crashed. Throughout the month they didn't even seem to be concerned. Most of the people that I spoke with didn't even know how their money was invested, and they didn't seem to have a fire under their ass to learn about it even in the midst of a financial crisis. Most of the women told me that their husbands handled all the investments. Now these same people are bitching that the big bad capitalists ruined their lives.

If a poor little girl like me from an east Los Angeles barrio can grow up to take responsibility for her finances, then so should everyone else.

The part that's missing from the whole movie is the episode where the big bad capitalist wolves ate alive the greedy pigs and the sheep who weren't paying attention. And the scene when the pigs and sheep served themselves on a golden platter to be eaten alive by the wolves.

Thank ya very much. Feel free to send me love or shoot darts at me in the comments section.

Coming soon-financial books that all women must read if you want to save yourself from being burned.

P.S. I'm not saying the big bad wolves aren't bad at all. I think someone ought to stick it to them and hang them in the public square.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

"Boys Will Be Boys"

Once upon a time there was a wee little lass who never really fit in with any of the other little girls. She thought that playing with dolls and having crushes on boys was a pretty stupid pastime. She preferred to spend her free time at the library reading everything that she could get her curious little hands on, while at the same time dreaming day and night about ruling the world. (Because she was obsessed with "Pinky and the Brain", of course).

In fact, she never really fit in with any of the boys, either. When the boys were busy running around snapping the bras of the little girls, grabbing their butts or breasts, or ridiculously and homophobically chanting "I pledge allegiance to the flag; Michael Jackson is a fag", the little girl was busy knocking the boys over, beating them at tetherball/dodgeball/soccer/you-name-the-sport, and otherwise putting them in their ridiculous little places.

The little girl began to hate some of the boys who snapped the girls' bras, who made prank calls about sex and orgies, who grabbed the girls butts and breasts, and harassed the girls in other ways. She hated them with all her might and will. And she also began to stay away from some of the other little girls who would giggle and act like they liked the attention when the boys would snap their bras or grope at their body. It wasn't long until many of the little girls started to stay away from her, too.

One day the little girl was called in during recess to talk with her teacher. Her pretty female teacher said to her, "Why is it that nobody really likes you? Why don't you have any friends? I notice that you don't really interact with any of the other girls".

The little girl said, "Because they always want to talk about boys and I want to read and talk about what I'm learning. The boys snap their bra straps and grab their butts and they don't say anything. When I tell the boys something if they do it to me or when I hit the boys back, the girls tell me that I shouldn't do that because the boys are doing it because they like me."

"That's true", said the teacher. "They only do that to you because they have a crush on you."

"But I don't like it. I want them to leave me alone", the little girl stubbornly responded.

"Boys will be boys. When you get older, you will understand. That's just the way things are. Now, go play with the girls", the pretty teacher sighed.

The little girl ran outside and instead of playing with the girls, she ran off to play with Mario and Carlos, the only two boys who she didn't hate with all her heart. After they played soccer, they laid on the cool grass under the mulberry trees to chat for a while.

As the little girl laid on the grass and looked at the group of girls and teacher across the playground, a small seed of mistrust began to ferment in her inner core. Little did anyone know, but that was the day that the wee little lass wrapped herself up in a cocoon and started to cautiously peek out of it when other females approached too closely.

To be continued.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Book Giveaway: Frida Kahlo

I just remembered that I tweeted that I was going to have a Frida Kahlo book giveaway, and then I was packing for vacation and I completely forgot. If you are not familiar with Frida Kahlo, well all I can say is that she is the biggest, baddest female artist of Mexico. She was a very unconventional woman, to say the least. In fact, in the past I started to blog about her here and here. So here goes:

I will be giving away the book Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo by Hayden Herrera to THREE readers. In order to participate in the giveaway, please leave a comment about 1) why you admire Frida or 2) another bad ass bitch that you admire, and what it is exactly that you admire about her.

Your name can be entered into the drawing an additional time if you tweet or blog about the giveaway. If so, please leave an additional comment with the url of the blog or your name on twitter.

The giveaway will end next Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 at midnight. The winner will be posted here Sunday morning. Good luck!