Sunday, November 29, 2009

Am I Really A Feminist, or a Female Supremacist??

I've got such a complicated relationship with feminism that it often boggles my mind. I used to always consider myself a SuperFeminist, but over the past five years or so I've been of the persuasion that feminists are aiming too low.

You see, I don't believe that as women we should be striving for equality because deep down in my heart I don't think that we are equal to men. I think that we are better than men, and no one has seemed to convince me otherwise.

Over the years I have had my disputes with other feminists. I've often heard them say, "Women haven't even achieved equality, and yet here you are talking about superiority?" Or on other occasions I have been told by some feminists,"I don't think that one sex is superior than the other sex, because I believe in equality. Men can do some things better than I can do, and vice versa".

Yet I still believe deep down in my heart that women by nature are superior, even though many of us haven't realized our true potential. We're still better than men even though equality for women in many aspects hasn't surfaced and although society attempts to keep many of us down. Maybe a man is more skilled at doing something than a woman, but this doesn't mean that he is superior to her-it just means he is more skilled in a certain aspect.

I've always had this idea that women are exalted beings ever since I was a small child. Last year my aunt told me a story of something that I said when I was six years old. This is what she told me:

I was six years old and we were looking at a small dog shaking her body, while the dog hair was flying all over the place. I asked my aunt, "Tia, why does the dog lose her hair?" My aunt responded, "God makes them like that". So I started shaking my body all over the place and I told my cousin that we could also lose our hair by shaking. My aunt informed me that we couldn't lose hair by shaking. "Why not?" I asked her. My aunt tried to explain, "Because God didn't make us like that. It just doesn't happen". I replied to them all, "Well, can God's husband make us lose hair?"

So, ever since I was a little girl I have always viewed "God" as a woman, even though the mainstream notion of God is that he is male. I've always viewed nature as female. Femininity has always been divine and superior to me. Yet at the same time I recognize that many women have yet to have realized their true potential.

If the true place for women in the social structure is to achieve equality with men, then why are we such a threat to men? Would men really be that threatened if we were equal to them? Don't you suppose that deep down inside men know that we are not their equals, that we have the potential to be superior, and this is what really truly freaks them out?

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Monday, November 23, 2009

Look Who Came Out on Top, Chump

I've long become accustomed to working with macho jackasses who try to talk down to me. Sometimes I want to slap them upside the head, but I have learned over the years that sometimes the less that I say, the more they will get out their own rope and hang themselves. So I just zip my lip and keep quiet.

Today was one of those delightful days.

There is this guy at my work institution who has been talking down to me for years. There is always a constant power struggle with any decision that I make and he always feels the need to try to criticize many of the things that I do at work. Many years ago it used to bother me, but now I just love to sit back and let him underestimate me.

And oh yes, he always underestimates me.

Today this guy organized a business lunch with someone "important" and throughout the entire meeting he talked nonstop about himself and all of his qualifications. He actually started talking on my behalf, answering questions for me, explaining what I do for my job, and on and on and on. I was getting so irritated and it almost occurred to me that I should shut him up, but I just decided that I really didn't care to put in any effort.

I sat there for almost two hours barely saying anything. Every once in a while, I asked the person who we were having lunch with a couple of questions about his business and services, but other than that I just pretty much sat there. Quiet, patient and calculated.

At the end of the lunch meeting, the "important" (for lack of a better term) person reached for the check and I grabbed it first. I said, "I'll get both of your lunches".

The important person said, "Well, I'm not accustomed to that. Usually I pay for the lunch. I have an expense account, and you know that I'm a pretty macho guy". Yes, I swear, he really said that.

I just wanted to subtly throw in a little something different into the mix.

Nonetheless I strutted over to the register and paid for both of the meals. We shook hands and parted goodbyes. After the important person left, the macho guy from work talked down to me the whole way back to the office about how I should have talked more to impress this man, blablabla. I literally had to listen to this macho idiot talk my ear of about his wonderful self and all of the great advice that I should learn from him all afternoon long.

Tonight I came home from work and the telephone rang and lo and behold it was the important person asking me if I wanted to do some consulting on the side for his business. I mentioned that I wasn't really that familiar with his area of specialization and he told me that he needed a fresh way of looking at things from an outside perspective. He didn't need to see my resume, he said, because the few questions that I had asked him at lunch were exactly what he was looking for.

What's the motto of the story? Just turn the cheek and laugh inside sometimes when they are are talking down to you, ladies, because with hard work, patience, and strategic thinking we will still come out on top. And always remember that a kick ass woman can still get her way even when she is quiet as a mouse.

Other than that there is no motto. Just gloating=)

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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Express Yourself, Don't Repress Yourself

Well, all I've got to say is that this song pretty much sums up my life story. It's my theme song. I'm never sorry about anything that I say, because I say what I think and what I really believe in. I'm usually bound to offend someone sooner or later, but I never regret anything I say.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Strong Women: Feminist Poems of the Week

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I rise.
(Maya Angelou)

I'm constantly looking and searching for feminist poets, feminist poems, or poems written by females that portray women in a strong, positive way. Here are some of my favorite poems written by women about women:

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
: You can never keep a strong woman down. This poem reminds me of my post that I wrote yesterday. They can try to hold us down, try to make us feel bad, try to silence our strong voices--and yet we will still keep moving forward.

Siren Song by Margaret Atwood
: A poem of the mythical siren's song who seduces men into sinking their ships.

Please Fire Me by Deborah Garrison: A poem about those damn alpha males in the workplace. I bet this is exactly what some of those women on "Mad Men" think every day that they are at the office.

You can also find other poems in my previous post here.

What are some of your favorite poems about women?


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Twin Foes of Strong, Confident Women

There is an aspect of human social behavior that every strong and ambitious woman knows like the back of her hand. In fact, bad-ass strong women become so accustomed to this certain aspect of human social interaction that they can spot it in a person immediately. What might it be, you ask? Well, jealousy and envy, of course.

When I was about eight years old, my grandmother called me into her bedroom and told me, "Your enemies are going to be celos and envidia because you are going to be somebody, mi'ja". Jealousy and envy. I didn't quite understand what she was telling me at the time, but I've since had plenty of years to get to know my two mortal enemies well.

There has never been a time when I can't recall being subjected to jealousy and envy. Grown ups and loved ones have always explained away people's incomprehensible and asshole behavior as being caused by jealousy and envy. It's always perplexed me as to why people would be jealous or envious of another person, because I could really give a rat's behind about anything that other people are doing.

Jealousy and envy towards a woman in power causes people to do such crazy things. It's the reason why less competent co-workers talk down to us and speak to us in a tone that suggests that we are idiots. It's the motive behind the times that people leave strong women out of the loop, give them the wrong information, or withhold important information from them in a workplace setting. It's the fuel that starts the incessant rumors about women in power-how they got promoted, what kind of personal relationships they have, what their appearance looks like, and other petty bullshit.

And yet we keep rising. We're immune to all the hell and fury caused at the hand of jealousy and envy because we believe in ourselves. When people spread lies and rumors, try to block us and hold us back, and try to put us down it does not deter us from our path because we are strong, confident women who are unstoppable in our goals and ambitions. We've learned over the years the fine art of letting the things they do and say to try to hurt us slip right off of our thick-skinned backs.

They can never hold us down, no matter how hard they try.