I am Now Pronounced "Me, Myself and I"

I have decided to take a mini-break from my previously planned "raising feminist children" mini-series in order to celebrate the biggest, baddest bitch that I've ever known. Me!!

Why am I excited about myself, you ask? Well, frankly, because I thumbed my nose at society and married myself this weekend. Let me tell you all about it and how my idea got started:

Years ago I remember watching a Sex in the City episode when Carrie went to a baby shower (?). When she entered her friends house, she had to take off her very expensive shoes and leave them by the door. At the end of the party her shoes were missing and her friend gave her an ugly pair of shoes to wear.

Weeks passed and the shoes were nowhere to be found. Her friend didn't even seem to be concerned about it one bit. One day, Carrie went to her friend's house to inquire about the shoes and her friend offered to pay for the shoes. When her friend found out that the shoes cost approximately $400 dollars, her friend told her that she would not pay for such an extravagant waste of money. "I'm a mother now and it's irresponsible to pay that much for shoes," the bitch said.

Carrie went home and thought long and hard about all of the gifts that she had given her friend all the years-the bridal shower, the wedding gift, the babyshowers, blablabla. She asked herself, "What about those of us who never get married? We just don't count in anyone else's eyes. Besides graduating from college, when do we ever have the chance to be celebrated?"

Carrie went to the shoe store and registered herself for the very same shoes that she lost. She then called her friend and said that she was marrying herself and that her friend could buy her a gift at a particular shoe store. When the friend arrived at the store, she paid for Carrie's "wedding gift", which just so happened to be the $400 dollar pair of shoes.

Ever since I saw that show I thought, "Damn right. What about those of us who don't ever want to be married?? What type of day do we get to have all of our friends show up and celebrate?" It was then and there that I decided to marry myself. This was almost 6 years ago.

Six years have passed and my friends and I have always jokingly planned my wedding. It was not until last week when a few of my friends flew in from out of the country and challenged me to pull off the wedding while we were all in town. Well, I am one competitive bitch and I don't take challenges lightly. So, we planned a wedding. I wasn't going to say anything about it online because I like to keep some things private, but I just couldn't control my excitement so I spilled the beans.

Saturday all of my non-bridesmaids assembled in their sexy black dresses. A few of my male friends, and my long-term boyfriend, were also non-bridesgrooms. I registered for gifts (mostly books...but of course). I walked myself down the aisle to the song "Independent Woman" by Beyonce (or whatever her old group was called). When I got to the front of the room, my professor gave a speech about how I would vow to love myself, always be independent, strive for continual self development, etc. I put on my Goddess tiara that my friends gave me for my birthday, instead of a ring because frankly I didn't have time to buy myself a ring.

Afterwards we had a fabulous dinner and reception. When the reception began, I burst into the room to the song "Brick House", and I most definitely had cleavage to die for. I drank and partied and danced all night long. Sunday and Monday I took myself on a honeymoon (and I invited my boyfriend along).

Ha, what a fabulous experience. I also figure that this was my three-year-belated 30th birthday celebration, because on my 30th birthday I was sitting in a stupid ass quantitative methodology/statistics class and I was pretty much having a nervous breakdown over the PhD program. I figure I had to make up for lost time.

It's been brought to my attention that it's a good thing that I did this so quickly because knowing just how fucked up the state of California is regarding marriage equality, it will probably be any day now that a proposition is put up on the ballot that some of us bad ass bitches can't have commitment ceremonies to ourselves.

Sound bizarre to you? I hope so. That's what I strive for in life-to think outside of the box.

Written by Anarela de Rossi

Counteracting the "Princess Myth"

Class is now in session!!

In my last post, I explained the itch that I have been feeling lately to reconnect with my teaching roots, and decided that I would kick off this week with a series of posts on teaching and/or raising feminist daughters and non-sexist sons. I'd like to discuss one of my very favorite books that expose children to a different type of princess than what they typically see in many of the mainstream books and movies regarding princesses: "The Paper Bag Princess". 

I think that the whole princess culture is pretty stupid, if you ask me. The castle, the prince and the fluffy dress have never appealed to me in the least. Someone once told me that she was going to put a curse on me so that when I have children that I will have little girls who worship the princess cult. Well, I most definitely hope that will never happen because it's something that I refuse to tolerate. The only princesses I want anything to do with are the bad ass little princess who knock the knight down and steal his horse. Or men who dress up as a princess.

"The Paper Bag Princess" is a great book to read to children, adolescents, and even adults in order to have discussions regarding the princess myth. It's also a great book to have discussions with boys and males about respect for women, selfishness and patriarchy in general. Let me tell you a little about "The Paper Bag Princess", if you haven't already read this classic book:

The book begins with a beautiful princess who wore all the pretty princess clothing and was of course betrothed to the handsome prince. One day, a mean dragon flies into the kingdom, burns everything down and kidnaps the prince. The poor princess is left with nothing, not even clothing, and she uses a paper bag to dress herself before she sets off to find and rescue the prince. 

The princess arrives at the dragon's castle and ingeniously devises a plan to outwit the big, bad dragon. She appeals to his ego (yes, HIS ego..) and persuades him to huff and puff and show her how big, bad and strong he is. The dragon soon grows tired of his huffing and puffing. Then she convinces the dragon to show her how fast he is, and the dragon zips all around the place to demonstrate his speed. Finally....the dragon collapses from exhaustion and the princess swoops into the castle to rescue the prince.

Immediately after she beats down the door and saves the day, the prince begins to criticize her for the paper bag she is wearing. He says something to the effect, "Princess, you have ashes all over you, your hair is messy, and you are wearing a silly paper bag. You need to clean yourself up before you marry me!"

And what do you suppose the princess did??

Well, she kicked him to the curb. She tells him, "You know what, you fuckhead?? You don't appreciate anything that I did for you. You are USELESS!" (My summary is obviously an adult reconstruction of the children's book, but she really did tell him that he was useless).

My favorite part of the story (besides her telling him that he was useless) was the ending when the princess skips off into the sunset. Instead of the "happily ever after" bullshit, the book ends with: "The princess didn't marry the prince after all". 

I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book and highly recommend it. I have even read it to adults when I have trained teachers, and they love it. You've got to have it on your bookshelf. If you only have boys, you should still read this book to them because there are many productive conversations that can be made regarding the prince's behavior. You can buy the twenty-fifth anniversary edition here.

Additional Resources:

Just because I am on the topic of princesses, there is another really great story called "The Princess Who Stood on Her Own Two Feet".  It has a similar theme--the prince doesn't accept a princess because she is too tall, too smart, and the list goes on and on.  You can also check out some additional non-traditional princesses in the Bad Ass Femmes store.

For some of you adults who have been trained that you need a man to take care of you, maybe some of you need to read this book to beat that princess ideology out of your heads--Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money. Stop sitting around and waiting for a future prince to save the day. You're a grown ass woman, for Goddess's sake!

Class is in Session!!

Lately I've been feeling an uncontrollable itch to get back into touch with my roots in teaching. Although I'm currently in the field of educational administration/management, I have been a teacher at the elementary and middle school levels. As all good educational administrators know, that itch to get back into the classroom never quite goes away. If you are glad to be out of the classroom, then you more than likely were a crappy teacher who shouldn't have been in the classroom in the first place, and definitely don't need to be in charge of a school site or school system. 

Working as an administrator in an urban school setting has its challenges, which includes working with a variety of people with different views, including some conservative people. As an administrator, I have publicly stated that I am a feminist a few times and the majority of people actually look at me in shock and/or awe. (Administrators are obviously supposed to be bland, boring people who don't have a life and don't rock the boat). 

I have a position that many other people in the institution would love to have, so I've decided that it is in my best interest that most people know the least amount of information about me, including some of my political views. Everyone knows damn well that I'm a political leftist and feminist, but I've decided to be selective in what I publicly say. I have begun to learn that the less I say, the more leverage I have because people don't know what to expect from me. Not to mention that it is often quite irritating and a major buzz kill to discuss feminist issues with a bunch of women and/or men who tend to buy into the traditional notion of gender roles. 

So I have decided that I will scratch my itch here on the blog, and kick off a couple of posts about teaching and/or raising children from a feminist perspective. I tend to get on these rants with certain topics, so let's see how long this will last. (Remember when I was on my Frida Kahlo kick? Well, I'll get back on that bandwagon sooner or later!). I'm most definitely not a mother, so my posts will be more from a teacher's perspective as to which resources are out there for parents who would like to raise strong, independent, and confident daughters as well as non-sexist boys. 

Stay tuned for my first post tomorrow about my favorite children's book that turns traditional gender roles upside down and provides an independent role model for little girls. Maybe, just maybe if you're lucky I'll even have some give-aways because I've got tons of resources that I have refused to give away over the years. 

Now, pardon me if I excuse myself because I've got a feminist agenda to spread. Knowing the perverted circles that I run in, some of you will probably expect me to be cracking the ruler on your asses to keep you in line. I just might do so, if you're lucky!! 

Bad-Ass-Bitches Videos of the Week

I just had a friend who discovered that her husband was cheating on her. Needless to say, he isn't going to know what hit him after she gets through with him. This post is inspired by her situation and is dedicated to her getting the best possible revenge on that womanizer! 

Bust Your Windows-Jazmine Sullivan: You just don't fuck around on some women, or they will make your life miserable. They'll bust the windows out of your car, etch their initials in your brand new paint job, spray paint your expensive art collection, poor red wine all over the house, break your wine glasses, throw all your vintage records around, and give you a big ass headache. 

Ese Hombre-La India: If you know salsa music, then you know that La India is one bad ass salsera. One of my favorite songs by her is "Ese Hombre", which is nothing but a long string of shit-talking and insults aimed at a man. Even if you don't know Spanish, you should learn the lyrics so that you can learn some insults--here are the Spanish lyrics. This is what she is basically saying:

"That man that you see over there-who appears so gallant, so attentive and so arrogant, I know him well. That man that you see over there-who appears to be so divine, so nice, only knows how to cause suffering. He's really annoying...a stupid ingrate... egotistical and sneaky... a vain clown...inconsiderate and stuck-up... full of jealousy...insecure of himself..."

Pardon my translation, as I am not a professional translator. You get the point. Anyhow, enjoy!

P.S. Thanks to Femina Prudentia for reminding me about La India song!! 

Every Strong, Independent Woman's Worst Enemy Just Might Be Another Woman

I didn't want to have to write this post, but apparently I am going to have to. I never want to be the type of woman who bashes or betrays other women, but lately I have been sick and tired of women who hurt other women.

I'm officially stating for the record that the people in this world who have hurt me the most in my life have been other women. Female colleagues, former friends, family members...you name it. I've carried around this naive "female solidarity" idea for way too long, and I am officially ending my belief in that nonsense.

I'm a bad-ass, take-no-nonsense woman. All ambitious, intelligent, confident and assertive females probably know exactly what I am talking about when I state that other women can be our worst enemy. Fuck the glass ceiling--other insecure females who attempt to maim, lame and "do us in" can be much more damaging than any man or glass ceiling could ever be. Insecure, petty and passive aggressive women just can't take a strong, successful woman and will try to do anything in their power to tear her down.

I will save my frustration and details for a later post. In the meantime, I have been poking around online and buying some books pertaining to this topic. I plan to continue on with this topic, because I am sure that it is something that most assertive, ambitious and confident women can relate to.

I initially started this blog to document my search for and life-long love affair with bad-ass women. I've always loved the stories of the whores, renegades, rebels and wicked bitches of the world. If you dig just a little deeper, you'll find that most of the rumors and myths that circulate about these women are bullshit.

Some myths were crafted with care by the women themselves (a much needed skill for all bad asses), but other myths and rumors were started by other people in an attempt to discredit, oppress or hurt strong women because they more than likely didn't fit into someone's boring little box. Femina Prudentia delineated a perfect example in her guest post about Jezebel; many of us have been taught that Jezebel was a whore, but we can't recall any whore-istic escapades that she had.

I've always thought that it is even more damaging when another woman is the one who is spreading rumors and discrediting strong women. I mean, hell, I expect it from insecure men, but I would love to believe in that ideal notion of sisterhood. So now I am on a quest to shed a little insight into these bitches who attempt to hurt and hold down strong, independent women.

A few weeks ago in the bookstore I came upon the book Woman's Inhumanity to Woman. I admire the author for her courage to write a book that she suppressed for over twenty years out of respect for that feminist cultural myth of sisterhood and solidarity. The author raises some interesting points in the book about indirect aggression between women through the use of rumors, gossip, social isolation and all such nonsense. I haven't yet finished the book.

Coincidentally, I came upon the "Odd Girl Out" movie on television last weekend. The movie is once again about indirect female aggression and bullying between adolescent girls. I figured that I would also buy the book to see what it has to say, and the book just came yesterday. So far, it's pretty similar to the previous book that I mentioned with a specific emphasis on adolescent girls.

And, just because I sometimes get fanatical when I am studying a topic, I also decided to get the book "Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees and Afraid-To-Bees". The book just arrived today and it looks similar to the others, but with an emphasis on adult women and possibly indirect aggression of females in the workplace.

I was raised by a feminist mother to be a feminist myself. My mother came through the feminism of the sixties and the seventies and taught me that sisterhood and solidarity with other women is of utmost importance. I believe this and practice this with all my heart. But my mom also taught me that my worst enemy would be the envy and jealousy of other women who will want to hurt me and hold me back because they are too scared and/or weak to be a trailblazer themselves.

I think that we need to start having more discussions about the damage that women can cause to other women in addition to our discussions of patriarchy. In the meantime, let's all start slapping the shit out of these bitches who try to muzzle and box some of us wild women into a menagerie.

Wicked Woman of the Bible: Jezebel

Today we are featuring our very first guest blogger post by Femina Prudentia! Femina Prudentia was one of my very first twitter friends, and we ran into one another on twitter over a diabolical obsession with the book the 48 Laws of Power. I asked her to write a guest post about one of the baddest bitches that she can think of, and today you'll get to read who she has chosen:


When I was first asked to write this, I searched and searched trying to find qualities of a Bad Ass Femme wrapped up in one person. My search included:

• A Fine-Tuned Mind
  
• Boldness and Courage 
  
• Strong Leadership Abilities
  
• Assertive Personality
  
• Royal Lineage
  

I’m sure at this point most of you reading this would agree that these are certainly the qualities of Bad Ass Femmes from Hatshepsut to Angela Merkel* (*Royal lineage undetermined). You would also agree that if you wanted to become a Bad Ass Femme these are the qualities you would wish to carry and probably study every self-help book or attend every training out there to obtain these qualities. Right? Of course you would!

My Bad Ass Femme pick of the week goes to a woman who has all of these qualities and really needs no introduction. Even if you don't know her story, you probably still associate her name with great evil: Jezebel!

Jezebel’s story is one of the most fascinating stories I’ve ever read in the Old Testament. She was a woman who was determined to get what she wanted by any means necessary. Her fine-tuned mind, boldness and courage, strong leadership abilities, and assertive personality were a force not to be reckoned with during her reign as Queen.

Jezebel was a Phoenician princess who became the Queen of Israel after marrying King Ahab, who she somehow managed to turn away from the one true God towards worshipping the Canaanite god, Ba-al. (Man pussy is a powerful thing… LOL). 

Using her strong leadership abilities, Jezebel rose to a powerful position within her husband’s government where she imposed laws she felt were important in the development of the country, which included eliminating the representatives of God (i.e., prophets). One of her strongest beliefs was that her husband King Ahab had the right to possess anything he wanted. In addition to managing her husband, she also controlled 850 assorted pagan priests. 

In the First Book of Kings, Jezebel used her assertive personality to draw believers of God to become the followers of her Canaanite god, Ba-al.  After the Great Showdown between Elijah, a prophet of God, and the Prophets of the Canaanite god Ba-al,  Elijah won back the people’s faith in God by challenging the Ba-al's prophets to a battle of God vs Ba-al. This battle resulted in the killing of 450 prophets of the Canaanite god. 

After the showdown, Jezebel sent a message to Elijah saying: 
May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them. (i.e., the dead prophets)  

Even with God on his side, Jezebel’s boldness and courage scared the crap out of Elijah. In the story, Elijah ran for his life. He eventually dumped his servant, started traveling alone and then asked God to take his life. Now that’s a Treacherous Bad Ass Femme to have a man praying to God for death!

On another occasion, Jezebel also exercised her fine-tuned mind to devise a scheme to help her wuss of a husband secure a vineyard that was next to the palace. One day after King Ahad was denied the vineyard he entered the palace sullen and displeased. He lay down on his bed, turned away his face, and would eat no food. No good wife wants to see her husband unhappy, so Jezebel devised an evil scheme to have the owner of the vineyard killed. She then told her husband,   “Arise, and take possession of the vineyard!”.

For the life of me I could never understand why Jezebel (in the Old Testament) was referred to as a whore. I have yet to read a story where she slept with anyone other than her husband. 

Growing up in church the most infamous story of Jezebel was her death, (2 Kings 9:30-37). Jezebel was thrown out the window, trampled by horses and eaten by dogs. Moments before her death, Jezebel knew she was getting ready to be killed by King Jehu. When she heard he was there she put on eye makeup and fixed her hair. To me this verse in the story tells a hell of a lot about her character. Her courage was SO strong that during her last minutes her hand was steady enough to apply eye make up. That’s a courageous, emotionally detached, Bad Ass Femme!

Jezebel may rank as the most evil woman in the Bible. She used her fine-tuned mind to devise evil schemes, her courage and boldness to commit murder, her leadership skills to take over the throne, and assertiveness to draw people away from God. 

If only we were able to focus on her qualities (i.e., fine-tuned mind; boldness and courage; strong leadership abilities; assertive personality) and NOT on what she used such qualities to achieve,  we might find that most of us have a little Jezebel inside waiting to be unleashed!

Thank you Femina Prudentia for your contribution! You can find Femina on Twitter, or can read her new blog about scorned women and other evil bitches! I'll hold my tongue as to why Jezebel's been labeled a whore, but we all know that's what "they" all call strong women, isn't it?

~In Honor Of My Amazing Single Mother~

Over the weekend I would like to take the time to celebrate mothers, including single mothers and pseudo-mothers (i.e., women who have not been my mother but have mothered me in very important ways). I'd like to kick off my little series with a post about my mother and the amazing strength that she has demonstrated her entire life, overcoming obstacles that many of us can't even imagine.

My mother is a survivor and the biggest bad ass that I've ever known. She survived a horrible and abusive childhood, a debilitating car accident which resulted in a broken back, a divorce with two small children, and many other obstacles. 

She was born to a woman who had eight girls and two boys. One of the boys died when he was jumping on the bed; he jumped out of the window and literally fell to death at my grandmother's feet. For many years, my grandmother tried to have another boy, which resulted in her having more girls than she was able to care for until she finally had another boy. My mother and her sisters say of the day that the final boy was born that "a prince was born".

When my mother was growing up, my grandmother emotionally and mentally deteriorated. All of my cousins and I know that she suffered from mental illness, but no one (including my mother) will acknowledge it. My grandmother ran away from a husband and got shot in the arm as she was escaping with her children. She married another man who ended up being a child molester. She finally married a decent man, who she settled down and raised "the boy" with. 

My grandmother, her husband, and "the boy" lived in one house and my mother and her sisters were forced to live in a house next door. The house had no electricity and no plumbing. My mother and her sisters went the bathroom in coffee cans, and they rigged up a long extension cord from my grandmother's house and slept with a blow dryer under the covers in order to keep them warm. My grandmother would literally put a lock on the refrigerator door to keep the girls out of the fridge, and she would make elaborate dinners for her husband and "the boy". My mother would eat cupcakes that her sister brought home from one of her jobs.

My mother refuses to discuss anything about her childhood. The few details that I have managed to piece together, I have learned from my aunts and two of my mother's childhood friends: 

• My grandmother would let men come around and molest the girls. When I recently asked my mother about this, she said that she was never molested because she was too mean and all the men were scared of her because she would "beat them off of her". One of my mother's childhood friends says that my mother is full of shit.  Something makes me suspect that my mother might be telling the truth though.
• My mother and her younger brother went to the same school and when it was raining my grandmother would pick up "the boy" and make my mother walk in the rain for three miles. My grandmother would wave at her.
• My grandmother was apparently the mother straight out of the movie "Carrie". They say that my grandmother called my mother a whore the moment that she started walking. My mother's friends like to tell about the time that my mother started her period-my grandmother beat her with a wet mop and told her that she was a whore and could now get pregnant from the boys.

When my mother went to school she found no solace from her abusive home. She was bullied by her teachers and slapped with a ruler and had her braids pulled for speaking Spanish. My mother recalls that one of her teachers told her that she shouldn't go to college because Mexicans weren't very smart. Her high school counselor recommended that she work in the fields picking vegetables before she got pregnant, although she had the highest grades in her class. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Nonetheless, my mother told me that she never felt bad about her language or culture, despite what many of her teachers frequently told her.

My mother ran away from home when she was sixteen and got married to my father when she was eighteen. My father had an affair while my mother was pregnant with her second child, and my father left her for another woman when I was three and my little sister was two weeks old. My father complied with picking us up when he had to, but he would often refuse to pay his child support. My mother was uneducated and had a working class job; my father had a graduate degree and eventually became a stock broker. My father would often quit his job when my mother would take him to court to make him pay his child support.

When I was growing up, my mother literally wore holes in her shoes so that we would have food to eat. She hid her car in the garage at my aunt's house when she was unable to pay the car payment. She would work very long hours with multiple jobs in order to send us to dancing lessons, baseball practice, tennis lessons and many other luxuries. She always said that she wanted her daughters to have what she never had. 

When I was eight years old, I came home from school one day and my mother never came home. My father came to pick me up and told me that my mother was in the hospital because she broke her back. She was driving home from work in the rain, her car hydroplaned and she rolled off of a hill.  My mother had no seatbelts in the car at the time. As the car rolled over and over, my mother told me later that all she could think about was who was going to take care of her children.

My mother stayed in the hospital for months, and the doctors told us that if she would have broken two more vertebrates then she probably would have been paralyzed or would have died. When my mother finally came home, she couldn't work and she had to lay on a special type of mattress. Initially she couldn't take care of us, and my sister and I would have to get ourselves ready for school and cook and clean. After a couple of months she was able to walk, but she couldn't carry or hold anything. I have vivid memories of my sister and I carrying the milk cartons home from the store because they were too heavy for her to carry.

My mother suffered through intense pain for the rest of her life and frequent surgeries. To this day she has to get in a contraption that hangs on her door and stretches out her neck and back. There have been times when her back freezes and she literally can't get out of the bed for a week. 

Through all this, my mother managed to raise two intelligent and successful daughters with minimal help from a man. She gets up every day in pain and puts a smile on her face to work all day long. She has suffered many other setbacks, but for the sake of time I won't get into them. 

Every time that my mother pisses me off with her bullshit, I'm going to remind myself how amazing she is and how much she has influenced me into being a strong, independent, take-no-nonsense type of woman. Hear me roar. 

The gift that I will be giving her is a large painting by Frida Kahlo named "The Broken Column". I've blogged about Frida Kahlo in the past, and one of the main components of my lifelong love affair with Frida is in large part due to her story of strength and survival when breaking her back, much like my mother's story of perseverance. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the single mothers and/or mothers who have beat the odds!! 

¡Feliz día de la madre!

This is the Frida Kahlo "The Broken Column" painting that I'm giving to my mom:

Upcoming Guest Bloggers

I'm really excited about my upcoming guest bloggers. I choose them both because I like their little sassy style.

One of the guest bloggers is Femina Prudentia who is my fellow Merlot-drinking and 48-Laws-of- Power-reading partner in crime. She's one of the few women who can possibly drink me under the table. Until she gets her blog that she's been working on up and going, you can find her on twitter. I've never crossed paths with another woman who has read and studied the 48 Laws of Power just as I have, until I met her. It's my mission in life to persuade other women to read the book. Buy the damn book already-from my store, that is!

The other guest blogger is Pinksugacupcake, who I also met on twitter. I like her sassy little style and I was totally smitten when I read her post about her love for plotting and scheming to bring her professor down. If it's one thing I admire, it's a woman who knows how to plot and scheme!! It's my mission in life to empower and corrupt Pink Suga, one step at a time.

Stay tuned for their posts!! If there is anyone else who has any great ideas or propositions and want to write a guest post, contact me. Men are welcome also!!

~Bad Ass Women Can Just Walk Away~

Bad ass women have no problem with kicking a man to the curb if they are a waste of our precious time . 

I like the video 'Shut Up' by the Black Eyed Peas-I especially like how she goes off on the guy at the end of the video, and I like that she grabs her crotch like she's got some big ole balls. Because she does.

You can check out the video by clicking here.

You remember that the next time some jackass is being an energy vampire, ladies.