Sunday, May 10, 2009

Wicked Woman of the Bible: Jezebel

Today we are featuring our very first guest blogger post by Femina Prudentia! Femina Prudentia was one of my very first twitter friends, and we ran into one another on twitter over a diabolical obsession with the book the 48 Laws of Power. I asked her to write a guest post about one of the baddest bitches that she can think of, and today you'll get to read who she has chosen:


When I was first asked to write this, I searched and searched trying to find qualities of a Bad Ass Femme wrapped up in one person. My search included:
  • A Fine-Tuned Mind
  • Boldness and Courage 
  • Strong Leadership Abilities
  • Assertive Personality
  • Royal Lineage
I’m sure at this point most of you reading this would agree that these are certainly the qualities of Bad Ass Femmes from Hatshepsut to Angela Merkel* (*Royal lineage undetermined). You would also agree that if you wanted to become a Bad Ass Femme these are the qualities you would wish to carry and probably study every self-help book or attend every training out there to obtain these qualities. Right? Of course you would!

My Bad Ass Femme pick of the week goes to a woman who has all of these qualities and really needs no introduction. Even if you don't know her story, you probably still associate her name with great evil: Jezebel!

Jezebel’s story is one of the most fascinating stories I’ve ever read in the Old Testament. She was a woman who was determined to get what she wanted by any means necessary. Her fine-tuned mind, boldness and courage, strong leadership abilities, and assertive personality were a force not to be reckoned with during her reign as Queen.

Jezebel was a Phoenician princess who became the Queen of Israel after marrying King Ahab, who she somehow managed to turn away from the one true God towards worshipping the Canaanite god, Ba-al. (Man pussy is a powerful thing… LOL). 

Using her strong leadership abilities, Jezebel rose to a powerful position within her husband’s government where she imposed laws she felt were important in the development of the country, which included eliminating the representatives of God (i.e., prophets). One of her strongest beliefs was that her husband King Ahab had the right to possess anything he wanted. In addition to managing her husband, she also controlled 850 assorted pagan priests. 

In the First Book of Kings, Jezebel used her assertive personality to draw believers of God to become the followers of her Canaanite god, Ba-al.  After the Great Showdown between Elijah, a prophet of God, and the Prophets of the Canaanite god Ba-al,  Elijah won back the people’s faith in God by challenging the Ba-al's prophets to a battle of God vs Ba-al. This battle resulted in the killing of 450 prophets of the Canaanite god. 

After the showdown, Jezebel sent a message to Elijah saying: 
May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them. (i.e., the dead prophets)  

Even with God on his side, Jezebel’s boldness and courage scared the crap out of Elijah. In the story, Elijah ran for his life. He eventually dumped his servant, started traveling alone and then asked God to take his life. Now that’s a Treacherous Bad Ass Femme to have a man praying to God for death!

On another occasion, Jezebel also exercised her fine-tuned mind to devise a scheme to help her wuss of a husband secure a vineyard that was next to the palace. One day after King Ahad was denied the vineyard he entered the palace sullen and displeased. He lay down on his bed, turned away his face, and would eat no food. No good wife wants to see her husband unhappy, so Jezebel devised an evil scheme to have the owner of the vineyard killed. She then told her husband,   “Arise, and take possession of the vineyard!”.

For the life of me I could never understand why Jezebel (in the Old Testament) was referred to as a whore. I have yet to read a story where she slept with anyone other than her husband. 

Growing up in church the most infamous story of Jezebel was her death, (2 Kings 9:30-37). Jezebel was thrown out the window, trampled by horses and eaten by dogs. Moments before her death, Jezebel knew she was getting ready to be killed by King Jehu. When she heard he was there she put on eye makeup and fixed her hair. To me this verse in the story tells a hell of a lot about her character. Her courage was SO strong that during her last minutes her hand was steady enough to apply eye make up. That’s a courageous, emotionally detached, Bad Ass Femme!

Jezebel may rank as the most evil woman in the Bible. She used her fine-tuned mind to devise evil schemes, her courage and boldness to commit murder, her leadership skills to take over the throne, and assertiveness to draw people away from God. 

If only we were able to focus on her qualities (i.e., fine-tuned mind; boldness and courage; strong leadership abilities; assertive personality) and NOT on what she used such qualities to achieve,  we might find that most of us have a little Jezebel inside waiting to be unleashed!

Thank you Femina Prudentia for your contribution! You can find Femina on Twitter, or can read her new blog about scorned women and other evil bitches! I'll hold my tongue as to why Jezebel's been labeled a whore, but we all know that's what "they" all call strong women, isn't it?

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