Fuck All You Bitches

Warning-rant alert.

I'm so royally irritated with people today that my post probably will be as incoherent as hell. But I suppose even an incoherent rant will make me feel better.

I'm so sick of petty, immature, I'm-still-in-highschool types of bitches at work. So very tired. It's totally contrary to what my soul believes about women and feminism. Fuck all these assholes-I'm just gonna throw in the towel and they can fucking wallow in their own damn oppression for all I care. I'm not going to fight their battle any more when they are apparently okay with being shit on.

And most of these fucking Latina bitches around me make me want to puke my guts out. If I have to sit around a bunch of Latina bitches who tiptoe around men and "Yes, Mr. so-and-so" them anymore while the men call them by their first name....I will just vomit. I can't fucking take it anymore. I suppose that catholic church taught you bitches how to serve your master well. Yeah, I said it, cabronas.

Excuse me pendejas while I'm getting ready to go to bed to face a ten or twelve or even fourteen hour day tomorrow because I want to make this world a better place for the children who live in this community. This community that you bitches used to live in, that you left, and you now think all these kids should bow down and kiss your ass because you drive in and out of town quickly to fuck up these kids--you know, that thing that you do all day that you *think* is called teaching?!?!

While I'm busting my ass on my long day tomorrow, I sure know what you'll be doing. Why, you'll be on facebook talking all your shit about me, my training, my employees, *GOOD* teachers who love the kids and you bitches are completely jealous of. You'll be spreading lies about some of those young and enthusiastic female teachers-ruining their reputation, isolating them and trying to drag them down into your fucking highschool cestpool.

Or maybe you'll be busy whining about some policy that I wrote, or didn't write quickly enough. Or bitching that something isn't mandatory, and then bitching because something is mandatory. Or you'll be reporting ME to the union because YOUR stupid bitch lazy ass didn't do YOUR fucking job. Or writing really stupid and rude emails while cc'ing it to everyone and their mama. Asshole.

And then after all that you'll be sending me emails kissing my ass, asking me for a letter of recommendation, asking to work for me while you are on vacation, and otherwise kissing my ass until you are blue in the face.

So you are on your own this week bitches. I'm only pulling my eight hours and nothing more. And you'll notice that I'm gonna snarl at you this week instead of my cool, calm and collected demeanor that I usually maintain. Snarl at you and file away all of those facebook screen shots and emails that'll be useful one of these lovely days.

In the meantime, I'll be hanging out with or helping women who want to uplift other women, or maybe even nursing the wounds of some of the young ones who you jealous bitches have torn apart.

The Workplace Chameleon

I've always been the type of person who likes to compartmentalize my life. Many years ago my work life, my personal life, my friends, and even my hobbies seemed to all be intertwined. Over the years though I've grown to compartmentalize each of these aspects of myself.

I work my ass off all day long and I tend to not want to hang around with any of the same people who I see all day long. In the past, I've been stabbed in the back by people who I once trusted in the workplace context, so I'd prefer that people know as little about me as they need to know. I prefer to keep my relationship with my boyfriend and my outside-of-work friends and things that I do pretty top secret from people who I work with. I bust my ass off all day long and I just want to come home and have my own little sanctuary away from work.

I'm sort of like a chameleon, with the masks I slip on and off changing according to the situation I am in. I'm one person when I am at work. I'm a completely other person when I am outside of my typical workplace and am working on consulting gigs. I'm at my purest sense of self when I am online and with some of my closest friends. But underneath it all I am sort of really the same person, morphing and playing different roles in various contexts.

Take the workplace context. I want to curse all day long, insult people, shout out that they are a jackass. I'm thinking all of this delightful stuff, of course, and yet I can't just run around and act in such a manner because it would scare the shit out of some of the timid types of people who I am supposed to be leading.

So I walk around, wear a mask, and try to play somewhat *normal*. If that makes any sense. I mean, I try not to scare the shit out of people and intimidate them. I try not to stare at people too hard with a poker face, try not to speak in too "direct" of a manner where it makes half of the employees shake in their fucking boots. I try not to be too dominant, too assertive or too aggressive. It's like being on a fucking stage all day long.

Deep down inside though, they all know that I am just going through the motions and I'm not showing them all my cards. In fact, you should hear the rumors that swirl around about me. I'm larger than life. I'm always shocked when I hear the latest rumor, or the latest thing that I've supposedly done or said. As I sit here writing this blog, I'm chuckling to myself at some of the silly teachers on facebook with open profiles who are writing complete nonsense about me. They're grasping at straws, really.

Ahh, social media! Thanks, ladies, for fueling my imagination and giving me a few new masks to wear at work the next time I see you. Or maybe I'll choose a persona that's completely opposite of what you think about me.

I'm going to have tons of fun with this over the next few days.

Connoisseurs of the 48 Laws of Power might immediately recognize a few of the laws of power, no? If you are unfamiliar with the laws, rest assured that we'll talk more about how women can use them to their advantage at a later time. Another book that's been helpful in refining the masks that you might wear is The Corporate Dominatrix: Six Roles to Play to Get Your Way at Work.

Frida Kahlo Book Giveaway Winners

I threw everyone's name into a basket and picked the following three winners of the Frida Kahlo biography:

• Linda
• Marcia
• Walking Queen

Please send a mailing address to badassfemmes(at)yahoo(dot)com by the end of the week. If you don't send your mailing info by Friday, I will pick from one of the remaining people who wanted the book!

~Thank you~

Women and Money: Don't Let Yourself Get Screwed

Lately I have been thinking a lot about women and money. More specifically, I've been mulling over how women get screwed over by a former loved one when it comes to money.

I first started thinking about it when I was writing my blog post about the movie Capitalism, because I mentioned in the post that around the time of the stock market crash that the majority of the women in my workplace had no idea of how their money was invested because their husbands handle most of the investment decisions. On my planet, this is a possible financial disaster waiting to happen on so many levels.

I thought about it even more when I just recently watched one of Joy Behar's shows. She had the comedian Kathy Griffin on the show and Kathy discussed having divorced her husband because she found out that her wonderful husband was stealing money from her.

Yesterday I was reminded yet again of the topic of women and money when I read online about Absent Minded Oracle's husband putting her into a financial hole. And yet another time when I read in a post about how Single Mom Survives lost her dream home that she had worked so hard to get when she went through the divorce with her husband.

My lovely breakfast this morning was yet another reminder of this particular issue.

I just had a lovely brunch with my mentor and she told me about the story of her divorce. She had been married to her wonderful and financially successful husband for over ten years. He was a brilliant man and made almost $300,000 over twenty years ago. He was a wonderful husband and father. She had everything that she ever wanted.

She was a college professor and one evening when she arrived at her house there were a ton of police officers and an ambulance carting her husband away to the hospital. The police informed her that her husband had suffered from a drug overdose and was being transported to the hospital for recovery.

She claims that in retrospect she never saw any inkling that suggested that he was a drug addict. What he always portrayed to her was nothing but a hard worker, a loving provider, and a doting husband and father.

Throughout the weeks, she found out that her husband first became addicted to cocaine and his addiction later morphed into heroin. He begged for her to give him another chance and he entered rehab. Being the doting Catholic wife that she was, she gave him another chance because she wanted to make it work for the sake of her one year old daughter. He admitted to her that he had been spending thousands and thousands of dollars on drugs over a period of a couple of years. She never noticed it because he was making tons of money and he took care of most of the finances.

They began to rebuild their life together and she started to be more assertive regarding the finances. She opened up a checking account in her name and began to monitor his finances so that she could keep tabs on whether it appeared that he might be using drugs again. Everything seemed to be going well, until one day when she went to the bank.

She went to the bank to make a deposit from her personal checking account and she was told that the $30, 000 that had been in her account was gone. Apparently her husband had somehow convinced the bank manager to give him a card with his name on it. How he was able to get a card, she will never know. She suspects that it may have had something to do with the fact that her husband had made business connections in the banking and finance industry.

My mentor packed up her child, left him for good and filed for divorce. It was then that she found out that for over five years he had been taking out loans from those fly by night loan companies, so that she would not notice that money was missing from his banking account. He had accumulated over $250, 000 in debt. She also discovered that all of the money that they had been diligently saving in their retirement account was gone.

During the divorce, he quit his job and disappeared for a couple of years.

She told me that she ended up paying over $100,000 in debt. In retrospect, she claims that she should have just filed for bankruptcy, but at the time she never considered the option. It took her over ten years to pay off his debt. Ten long years and now she's got little money in her retirement account.

"If only I would have asked to see the bank statements in the beginning. If only I would have checked my credit report on a frequent basis, I would have seen that there were loans being opened in our names. At the time I didn't even know where to look at the balance of our retirement account, and didn't find out that there was no money in the account until after I hired a lawyer during the divorce", she stated to me.

I've heard my share of these types of stories from friends, family members and co-workers who have gone through divorce. And I always ask myself, "How is it that these women had no inkling that their husbands were financially ruining them?"

But this doesn't only happen to women who are married to shady men who bleed them dry and then divorce them. Women can financially suffer by going through a typical divorce and later losing what they have worked so hard for because they have to share the assets or they can't afford to maintain their standard of living on one income. Women can be financially screwed if their husband dies. Or, women can be married for their entire lives and be screwed later in their retirement because their husband didn't invest any money. The list can go on and on.

Moral of the story: Protect yourself by always knowing about your finances, even if you are married to the best man out there because your wonderful husband might not be financially savvy himself. If you don't know the first thing about money, investing, etc, then I suggest you get your ass to work and start learning about it. It's a lot less intimidating than many women think.

Do not let yourself get screwed. By not knowing where your money is, you might be putting yourself in a bad situation.

Has something like this ever happened to you or a woman that you know?

Three Smart Asses You Should Meet

I love smart asses. So here are three smart asses that you might want to get to know:

Absentminded Oracle: She's a smart ass, a meanie and can be as feisty as hell at times. I'm so delighted in her smart ass behavior that yesterday we just discussed awarding *Team Mean* awards to bitchy bloggers. Absentminded Oracle is a psychologist and can drink like a sailor. You might remember her from her guest post here on Nikki Giovani. She also goes by @pinksugacupcake on twitter.

Single Mom Survives: She's another smart ass who can make any sailor blush with that feisty mouth of hers. She's funny as hell and has a strong snark streak. Even her little four year old daughter is following in her footsteps! She blogs a lot in a smart ass way about issues with being a single mother. Single mothers are near and dear to my heart, and most especially so when they are of the obnoxious persuasion! She goes by @singlmomsurvives on twitter.

Mely Speaks: She's a newly single mother who blogs about being newly single and is currently hitting the pavement looking for a job. I have tons of fun reading her blog! Mely is an undercover sex kitten and oh wait, is she really undercover? You can find her on Mely Speaks and she also writes for Sex and the Mom. She goes by @melysas on twitter, but you will need to send her a request to follow her because she recently protected her updates when she found out her mother was reading her twitter stream and had a meltdown over what she saw!

Do you know of any other smart ass bloggers??

Pigs Get Slaughtered

I went to see "Capitalism: A Love Story" today. I desperately want to blog about it, but I've been at a loss as to which blog I should include it on. I first thought about writing it on my Stocks and Bondage blog (hehe, you probably think I'm kidding about that blog, don't you??), then I thought that I should also put it on this Bad Ass Femmes blog. Why? Because I think that if there is one thing that a kick-ass-take-no-prisoners kind of woman should understand is...everything that has to do with money.

I'll first start with a couple of disclaimers. I am a woman full of contradictions. First off, I am a big ole capitalist whore. At the same time I am a big ole socialist whore. Every month my mailbox is just as stuffed with Forbes and other money magazines as it is with socialist newspapers from various socialist parties. I read the Wall Street Journal online just as much as I read the socialist Monthly Review. In reality, I believe the theoretical principals of capitalism can be just as distorted by humans as the practice of socialist theory. I also personally believe that we need a little bit of both, a blend of both systems.

Second, I own tons and tons of stock in huge companies. And I have made tons and tons of money off of these very large companies. I'm partly complicit when these companies fuck the little guy. At the same time, I have always considered myself to be a social justice advocate and believe that in a perfect world wealth would be distributed evenly. But it's not. And I refuse to sit around and be the tonta (i.e., idiotic) martyr and fuck myself over just because I want to prove a point. If we are living in a capitalist system, I am going to learn the game and benefit myself and others.

One might say that I have done very well for myself, financially speaking, but I don't bat an eye in the least when people discuss raising taxes. If that is the only think that I have to be concerned about, then I'd say that I am in a pretty privileged position. I make more money so I should make a more sizable contribution to this world. However, although I am a big fat capitalist whore, I would gladly cut my yearly earnings in half in a heartbeat if it meant that everyone in this country were able to be on the same playing field.

Now on to my conflicted ideas of the movie.

I love Michael Moore. I've seen everything he has ever produced, read everything he has written, and love, love, love him. I'm sure Michael is living such a life of similar contradictions-right Michael?

Yet I couldn't help feeling conflicted throughout the whole entire movie. I felt that there was a missing link.

Don't get me wrong-oh the horror of those big ole capitalist wolves fucking over the little guy, fucking over our country and then standing there with their greedy hands out demanding money for the disaster that they caused. I'm always giddy when I see someone sticking it to the big man and exposing all their dirty laundry. But really, are they the only ones at fault here?

Notwithstanding the poor people and old folk who were completely lied to by many of these companies, but are these greedy capitalists the only ones complicit in this debacle? No! Not in the least.

There's an entire aspect of the whole situation that is visibly missing from the movie. Throughout the entire movie, I thought to myself, "When do consumers also take responsibility for this mess?"

I personally know of more educated, upper middle class people than working class people who lost their homes because they got one of those ridiculous mortgages. Greedy middle class and upper middle class consumers who bought into the propaganda of the mortgage companies and other large companies merely because they also are greedy little pigs who wanted something that was too good to be true. In fact, I told numerous people on numerous occasions before all of this occurred that they should not get the mortgages, and yet they failed to listen and later lost their houses.

I'm talking about people who earn at least $80,000 or more, and most of them are married with two incomes. People who should know better. People who could have afforded a decent priced house, but decided that they wanted what they couldn't afford. I knew that they were getting duped, so am I supposed to feel sorry for them because they got fucked over? I most certainly don't. Some of these people make more money than me when they combine their incomes.

Before the stock market crashed, I watched these same greedy little fellows pour money into the stock market like a bunch of fools. One educated idiot at work borrowed money to buy stock, pulled money out of the equity in his house to buy stock, and gambled the stock market like he was in a casino. I repeatedly warned him what any non-idiot would know, "You DO NOT borrow money to invest money". I warned over and over and over. He would come in, puff up his chest and explain to me in a patronizing manner that he would use the money from dividends that he earned in order to pay off his debts for borrowing the stock. And then boom-one day he lost everything.

As the saying goes, "Bulls make money, bears make money, and pigs get slaughtered". If you invest in the stock market and don't know what I'm talking about, I suggest that you get off your ass and find out. And if you're a greedy pig and let the big men in suits dupe you, then quit pointing the finger and accept your own complicity in the matter.

When the entire stock market crashed on a historical level, I went to work every day and talked everyone's ear off about the whole mess. Seventy-five percent of the people (who all make over $100,000 per year, by the way) didn't even know that the fucking stock market had crashed. Throughout the month they didn't even seem to be concerned. Most of the people that I spoke with didn't even know how their money was invested, and they didn't seem to have a fire under their ass to learn about it even in the midst of a financial crisis. Most of the women told me that their husbands handled all the investments. Now these same people are bitching that the big bad capitalists ruined their lives.

If a poor little girl like me from an east Los Angeles barrio can grow up to take responsibility for her finances, then so should everyone else.

The part that's missing from the whole movie is the episode where the big bad capitalist wolves ate alive the greedy pigs and the sheep who weren't paying attention. And the scene when the pigs and sheep served themselves on a golden platter to be eaten alive by the wolves.

Thank ya very much. Feel free to send me love or shoot darts at me in the comments section.

Coming soon-financial books that all women must read if you want to save yourself from being burned.

P.S. I'm not saying the big bad wolves aren't bad at all. I think someone ought to stick it to them and hang them in the public square.

"Boys Will Be Boys"

Once upon a time there was a wee little lass who never really fit in with any of the other little girls. She thought that playing with dolls and having crushes on boys was a pretty stupid pastime. She preferred to spend her free time at the library reading everything that she could get her curious little hands on, while at the same time dreaming day and night about ruling the world. (Because she was obsessed with "Pinky and the Brain", of course).

In fact, she never really fit in with any of the boys, either. When the boys were busy running around snapping the bras of the little girls, grabbing their butts or breasts, or ridiculously and homophobically chanting "I pledge allegiance to the flag; Michael Jackson is a fag", the little girl was busy knocking the boys over, beating them at tetherball/dodgeball/soccer/you-name-the-sport, and otherwise putting them in their ridiculous little places.

The little girl began to hate some of the boys who snapped the girls' bras, who made prank calls about sex and orgies, who grabbed the girls butts and breasts, and harassed the girls in other ways. She hated them with all her might and will. And she also began to stay away from some of the other little girls who would giggle and act like they liked the attention when the boys would snap their bras or grope at their body. It wasn't long until many of the little girls started to stay away from her, too.

One day the little girl was called in during recess to talk with her teacher. Her pretty female teacher said to her, "Why is it that nobody really likes you? Why don't you have any friends? I notice that you don't really interact with any of the other girls".

The little girl said, "Because they always want to talk about boys and I want to read and talk about what I'm learning. The boys snap their bra straps and grab their butts and they don't say anything. When I tell the boys something if they do it to me or when I hit the boys back, the girls tell me that I shouldn't do that because the boys are doing it because they like me."

"That's true", said the teacher. "They only do that to you because they have a crush on you."

"But I don't like it. I want them to leave me alone", the little girl stubbornly responded.

"Boys will be boys. When you get older, you will understand. That's just the way things are. Now, go play with the girls", the pretty teacher sighed.

The little girl ran outside and instead of playing with the girls, she ran off to play with Mario and Carlos, the only two boys who she didn't hate with all her heart. After they played soccer, they laid on the cool grass under the mulberry trees to chat for a while.

As the little girl laid on the grass and looked at the group of girls and teacher across the playground, a small seed of mistrust began to ferment in her inner core. Little did anyone know, but that was the day that the wee little lass wrapped herself up in a cocoon and started to cautiously peek out of it when other females approached too closely.

To be continued.

Book Giveaway: Frida Kahlo

I just remembered that I tweeted that I was going to have a Frida Kahlo book giveaway, and then I was packing for vacation and I completely forgot. If you are not familiar with Frida Kahlo, well all I can say is that she is the biggest, baddest female artist of Mexico. She was a very unconventional woman, to say the least. In fact, in the past I started to blog about her here and here. So here goes:

I will be giving away the book Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo by Hayden Herrera to THREE readers. In order to participate in the giveaway, please leave a comment about 1) why you admire Frida or 2) another bad ass bitch that you admire, and what it is exactly that you admire about her.

Your name can be entered into the drawing an additional time if you tweet or blog about the giveaway. If so, please leave an additional comment with the url of the blog or your name on twitter.

The giveaway will end next Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 at midnight. The winner will be posted here Sunday morning. Good luck!

Mad Men: The More Things Change, the More Things Stay the Same

Dear "Mad Men", where have you been all my life? Seriously.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been seeing people tweeting about AMC's show "Mad Men" and I didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't until I decided to cancel my cable (thought it sounded good at the time) and watch my television on the free website hulu.com when I actually discovered the show. Last week I started watching an episode of "Mad Men", which I absolutely loved, but I couldn't really carry the story because it seemed that so much had happened in the previous seasons. Coincidentally, I received seasons 1 and 2 as a gift this week.

If you have noticed that I have been missing in action, then it would be absolutely correct to assume that I have been locked away on my computer watching all of season 1 and 2. And I'm totally enthralled with it. I love the fashion, the cut throat industry of advertising, the drinking, the smoking, the affairs, and everything else.

Right before I started watching it, a male tweeted to me, "You'll finally realize how much has changed for women since 1960". Or something to that effect.

Really though? Has much changed? The women are all in the secretarial arena (of what I've seen so far, minus the one female secretary who manages to move up as a copywriter). Many of the men are incredibly sexist, and the women in the office also perpetuate the same sexism on one another in the form of criticizing one another for how they look, act and dress and how it will have an impact on finding a husband. If you haven't seen the show, I am sure you can just imagine all the sexism.

So has sexism really fundamentally changed since then, or are men just scared that they might get sued for acting like the sexist pricks that many of them still are??! I am a female in an upper management position (the only female, by the way) and honestly what I see on an every day basis is pretty much a covert mirror of what was overtly happening in this television show. I'm called "sweetheart" or "honey" by men who are below me on a frequent basis. I watch the higher management prey on some of the secretarial staff. I have to sit and listen to men make completely sexist jokes to one another while in my presence. I have been sexually harassed by inferiors, although many men refuse to acknowledge that a woman who is above a man in position can be sexually harassed by someone below her.

In season one there is one episode where a female secretary is asked to work on an ad account for a "weight loss" device which actually happens to have a vibrator in it. She stands in front of all the male executives and has to listen to them make sexist jokes about their wives as well as sexual jokes. And she just grins and bears it. She doesn't say a word.

Oh...but that doesn't happen any more to women in the workplace, right? Ask any female executive in upper management and I will bet that she will beg to differ. I am an extremely dominant woman and it has happened to me more times than I can count. Sometimes I say something, but sometimes I don't; it depends on which battle I feel like picking on that particular day.

Read memoirs of female CEOs and executives and you'll hear all about their battle scars and how they sometimes call them on their shit yet sometimes use other assertive tactics. I once had to get in one of my colleagues face and tell him, "Oh, you want to have a pissing match, do you? Well, draw the fucking line in the sand. I can assure you that I can pee farther than your sorry ass while I am standing up. Now stop fucking with me because I will squash you". Sure I just wanted to report him to someone for being a sexist pig, but I knew that aggressive behavior and getting in his face would work better with that bully. And it did.

We've always had bullbusting women who've climbed their ways up kicking, screaming and clawing the eyes out of sexist jackasses-then, now and as far back as we can remember. Even if we don't hear about those bad ass early feminists, they've always been around putting men in their place.

Regarding the dynamics of the female workers in the show, I just blogged last week about my secretarial staff who happen to be all up in my business about whether or not I am going to get married or have children, what I am wearing, what I wore last week, my shade of lipstick, blablabla. They gossip, they flirt, and some look down on women who are divorced. I swear, to watch some of these office women back in the 1960s in the show is practically like looking at half of the women who work in my office.

And don't get me started on doctors. In one episode, the female character goes to see a male doctor to get birth control from a pervy doctor. He tells her that if she sleeps around he will immediately take her off the birth control pill because men won't want to marry a hussy. Oh, this stuff definitely happen any more, right? Well, I think one of my good friends would beg to differ. Last year she was denied birth control by the pharmacist on duty at a national pharmacy because the pharmacist told her that she was committing a "mini-abortion" every time that she took the pill. Ha. I'll save my own personal story about a certain emergency room perv doctor for a later post when I explain why I will NEVER go to a male doctor again.

So really, not much has changed since the 1960s. It's just a tad bit more covert than it used to be, at least in my opinion. What do you think?

Keep Your Mind Off of My Ovaries

I can't stand people who can't mind their own business when it comes to my fucking ovaries.

It's hard enough having to listen to a bunch of men and other right wing assholes try to control the reproductive rights of women. So it's even more irritating when people start giving me fucking unsolicited advice about having children.

It seems lately that everyone that I work with just can't stop talking about me having children. Don't these people have a fucking life?!

It all started two months ago for some strange reason when my secretary blurted out that she couldn't wait until I had children. We were sitting in my office discussing the budget and she just threw that one sideways at me. Since then she hasn't stopped, and now other people in the office have jumped on the bandwagon.

At least three days a week, I get to sit and listen to people tell me how they can't wait to see me have a kid. "It will soften me up", "Every woman should experience it", blablafucking bla. Get over it, already.

It's the most bizarre thing-they actually get together in a little circle and talk in an excited manner about how great it would be for me to have my very own screaming little shit stained kid.

I have decided not to rip their fucking heads off because I think that all the women in the office are just trying to find some way to connect with me, and maybe in some sick way they think that they are nurturing me.

Sometimes I want to be really mean by faking alligator tears and telling them that I've been trying to have kids for years and I am completely unable to have children. I have a fantasy of sobbing my heart out. I would love to see the guilty look on their faces.

I mean, really, can you imagine? What the fuck is wrong with these women that they actually think that they can sit and discuss how I'm "almost getting too old to have babies"? For Goddess's sake-I'm only 33 years old.

I even found out the other day when I overheard them talking that they all know exactly when I am on my period based on my mood, my energy levels, and apparently when I bring in a big bottle of excedrin. One clerk commented to another, "No, she can't be pregnant because she just had her period like last week". Lord almighty.

I just never thought that I would have to call female employees into my office and tell them to stop talking about my personal business.

Just stop already. At this moment I don't want children. Maybe I never will. But I can assure you that if and when I ever do decide to have children, that they'll probably know that I'm pregnant before I'm even aware of it.

Get a hobby, bitches!

Sing it Sista: Rock On With Your Bad Self

I've always loved Annie Lennox since I first saw her when I was a young girl on MTV in that suit, tie and short hair cut in the "Sweet Dreams" video. I can remember being so intrigued with the lyrics: "Some of them want to use you; Some of them want to get used by you; Some of them want to abuse you; Some of them want to be abused". Bruhaha. That was probably about the time that I started torturin' the boys!!

Then came "Missionary Man", and I so ecstatic that I was born with the original sin that I went to church and told the nuns that I wanted to be a fun sinner like Annie. Um, that didn't go over very well, as you might have suspected. That was about the time that the nuns told my mom that she shouldn't have MTV.

And I'm still lovin' Annie Lennox. She's still rockin' her bad ass self all these years. This is the one her more recent songs that I'm loving.

I've always loved her unconventional beauty and gender bending. Annie ROCKS!