Yesterday I tweeted that I went to dinner with a number of married women and one began to lecture me about not being married. One of the main culprits is actually married to a low life pissant who does nothing to help her at home or take care of the children. So logically I was quite irritated when she continued to lecture me over and over that she was sooooo worried that I am not married. Poor little ole me.
As I sat there I began to get increasingly irritated because I have had it up to here with women who want to shove their lifestyle down my throat and delegitimize my lifestyle, since I have been in a pretty happy relationship with a man for over 13 years. I tried to calmly explain to this woman that I am just fine, that I am happy, and that I don't really want to be married because I am just fine with my relationship. I'm of the persuasion that I don't need a piece of paper or ceremony in order to be committed. Plus, I made a decision long ago that out of solidarity for my love of the gay and lesbian community, that I will never marry until they have the right to do so. But then again I probably still wouldn't get married.
I tried to calmly explain all of this to her, and then I just had enough of her condescending attitude and I said, "Why don't you worry about your lazy ass husband who doesn't lift a finger to help you instead of being so concerned about my relationship?"
When I got home I tweeted about this situation and I said:
Me: I am convinced that married women who are miserable want U to be married so that we can all be miserable together
One of my followers responded that she shared my sentiment about some people forcing the marriage issue on those of us who choose not to be married. Apparently she retweeted me, and apparently one of her followers responded to both of us. She said:
Her: misery does love company but there are some of us mrs who have amazing marriages ... we want you to have that too!
Now, this borderlines on more or less the same thing that I was frustrated with over dinner--some married people who unintentionally or intentionally want to shove marriage down our throats. I was going to be a bitch, but then I figured that I didn't even know who this lady was, so I just figured that I would bite my tongue, but still state my opinion. Because that's what I do-state my opinion and engage in dialogue. So I said:
Me: why? I've been in a happy relationship for over 13 years. Why assume that I have to be married to be as happy as you??
I was speaking generally, and if I really wanted to be aggressive, most of you who know me well know that I would have been happy to be a total bitch if I wanted.
Nonetheless, she responded:
Her: simmer down now! no assumptions made just said that people generally what you to have what they have good or bad ...
Her: defensive much?!
The "defensive much" comment was slightly irritating, but since I like and respect the woman who had originally retweeted my tweet, I figured that I wouldn't give this lady a tongue lashing. (I should have known by then that the person who had sent me a tweet is too mentally dense to be able to engage in a discussion about this topic). But I did decide to state my opinion and I said:
Me: I don't. I don't want ppl to want what I have. I could really care less how people live their lives.
Because I DON'T care. It's none of my business how people decide to live their lives. I've never in my life tried to impose my relationship on someone, or wish people to have a relationship like mine. Because frankly I have better things to think about, and I know that some people wouldn't be happy with my style of relationship. Then she said:
Her: dial back the hostility and perhaps he'll put a ring on it ... sorry couldn't resist
Hostility? This bitch ain't seen nothin' yet. I'm hostile because I say that I could care less with how other people live their lives? Shit, I'm not a match maker! So I finally decided to tell her that I thought she was condescending, although I was still on my best behavior:
Me: thats the condescending attitude I am talking about. I dont want or need a ring to be in committed relationship
Her: you sure are right you don't need a ring to be committed some people like you just require a straight jacket! #whackjob
Me: and frankly, to assume that I'm hostile because I say I don't need a ring is quite ignorant
The she said:
Her: I am definitely NOT ignorant ... you're just a hostile, negative, toxic person - with or without a ring or a man
And then suddenly, as if we were in high school, she tweets a couple of other people about me being a wack job. Um, and who the hell are these new people? As if I give a shit about them. Oh you have no idea how entertained I am, because you have no idea what kind of good behavior I was on. Well, maybe some of you do. She said:
Her: @OurDesignedLife @ZiaPriven this total #whackjob @wickedbitch chimed in something I said to @MsAnneK & went ape shit
Ape shit? If ape shit is defined by me saying that I don't care about how other people live their life, then I guess I am guilty as charged. What is triple entertaining to me is the "I responded to so and so and she attacked me"-although her stupid ass was the first person to contact me and start throwing blows with making statements about the "maybe if you do x, y, and x then he will marry you" silliness.
This only supports my theory that women who try to shove the "I want you to be married so that you can be as happy as me" are nothing but petty women doing nothing more than attempting to disguise their misery by acting as if their way of living is superior than or more normal than those of us who choose not to marry but live as single women or live in unmarried, committed relationships.
For a tiny minute, I thought, "And why the hell am I a feminist again when they are far too many petty, condescending bitches like this in the world?" But then I remembered that there are tons of cool married women who don't act like the beforementioned asshole and I set my mind straight.
P.S. to the assholes: Go ahead and leave your highschoolesque comments if you chose. I don't give a shit. In fact, you are quite the entertainment.