There was once upon a time when I used to love the singer Shakira. Those were the days when she sang exclusively in Spanish and cultivated somewhat of a bad ass rocker image. Shakira was so edgy, sassy, artistic, and seemed to have a lot more meat on her booty and hips. She sometimes had black hair, sometimes dark brown or with a dark reddish tint. Sometimes she wore her hair in braids or dreads. She played a guitar and had her cute little pseudo rap in songs. She sang about her neurosis, flies in her house, not bathing on Sundays, and referenced Marx in a song.
If you ever followed the pre-Pepsi Shakira and were a fan of hers, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Even if you don't speak Spanish, you can see for yourself what she used to look like and how she used to portray herself in some of these older videos:
Dónde estás corazón?
I didn't even flinch when she started into her belly dancing phase because at the time it was something different and I admired watching a woman who had a little somethin' somethin' on her hips shake it for all the world to see. Here's video of Shakira shaking her hips:
And then came the Pepsi commercials.
And singing shitty pop songs in English. And the blond hair. And the airhead behavior. And her comments that she's "a princess in a rocker's body". And the mtv or vh1 show (does it really matter which channel it was on?).
Next came Alejandro Sanz and the strange contortions that she started with her body, those movements that everyone seems to find sexy yet I find to be just plain stupid and un-Shakira-like. Not to mention that black crap all over body. All I'm thinking about when I'm watching the video is, "What the hell is that black crap all over her body?"
I've been waiting for her to come home and get back to her roots, yet I suppose I'm going to have to come to terms with the fact that the bad ass Shakira that I used to love has gone awol.
Her latest video She Wolf is so, how shall I explain it...."beyonce"-esque. If I ever had any thoughts of her reconnecting with her roots and getting back into her bad ass character, I suppose I will have to throw in the towel now. She's still blond, still singing practically in incomprehensible English, and looks just plain stupid.
Hell, I'm one sex-positive bitch. I'm a self-proclaimed unrepentant SLUT and advocate of sex workers. However, this video is just not jivin' with me.
Listen up, Shakira-you are a fucking LATINA. Cut it out with the fucking blond hair, grow your booty and hips back and quit your stupid ass singing in English. Until you have some sense smacked into that blond head of yours, I'll be sitting at home mourning the loss of one of my favorite old bad asses.
The Sugar of Black Cool
5 hours ago