Thursday, December 24, 2009

Sing It Sista: You Don't Own Me

Lately I've been looking back to when I was a wee little lass and thinking about some of the experiences that influenced me to become the woman that I am today. As a child I was always subjected to conflicting messages about the roles of women-my mother was a divorced, single mother who always told me that I didn't need a man to take care of me, but at other times she would chastise me for not acting "ladylike" and telling me that if I did [insert something "unladylike"], I would never find a man. I was always in a state of conflict with all of my divorced, single aunts who displayed the same contradictory behavior as well as my grandmother who married multiple men and threw them away whenever it suited her. I lived in a primarily immigrant neighborhood where many of the women didn't work and stayed home to take care of their men and families, while also often making fun of my mother and her single sisters for having "lost their men".

Apparently the rumor is that my father had an affair when I was three years old and my brother was only two weeks old. According to the family rumor (of course my mother will never talk about it), my mother threw all of my father's belongings in the front yard and set them on fire. I don't know if I can remember this happening, or if I have a memory of the rumors that my aunts have told me all of these years. I remember many similar occurrences over the years from my mother punching my father in the nose and giving him a bloody nose to my mother being arrested for doing something else to my father's new wife.

At the same time that all of this was happening, I also would see my mother lie around and cry over my father for having left her, even ten years after the fact. I grew up on reading my mother's notes that she would write to my father and leave all over the house, chastising him for having abandoned the family and begging him to come back. I can remember finding the notes even as late as when I was in high school. I also remember my mother lying on the floor crying for years and years, listening to sad music by women about their men having left them.

As I child I was so confused about the role of women. Are we supposed to pine away in misery when someone leaves us? Are we supposed to be self-sufficient, or do we need a man around? Everywhere I looked all I saw were women crying their hearts out over having been left by a man-in songs, in books, in real life, on television.

But then there were those ecstatic moments when I would see a different side of the strength and independence of women. I didn't see it often, but when I did I would suck it up as much as I could and I was never able to get enough of it. I can remember the first time that I heard Lesley Gore's 1964 hit "You Don't Own Me" and I couldn't stop listening to it throughout my childhood and adolescence:

I would have to say that this song has probably been one of the most influential songs for me in my life, and listening to it was like being in a safe haven away from the typical "why did you leave me, I can't live without your love" type of crap that is shoved down every little girl's throat starting at birth.

I just recently researched the life of the singer, Lesley Gore, and I found some interesting things about her. According to some reports she sacrificed her singing career so that she could go to college, which impacted her popularity and ability to perform. Over the years she has changed the lyrics to many songs when singing about gender pronouns; for example, on an album when she sang the song "You're the one that I want" (from the musical Greece), she changed "because I need a man" to "because I need a friend". In 2005 she came out as a lesbian and has been in a relationship with her partner for over twenty years.

Was this song ever significant for you? What were some of the other songs that have had an impact on your life?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Movie: Julie and Julia

Yesterday I watched the video Julie & Julia, a movie based on the book "Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously". Interesting enough, I had never even heard about Julia Child until I watched the movie. I've told this to a couple of people over the past day and people are shocked that I have never heard of Julia Child, but I suppose this may be a cultural thing because my mother was always cooking her own home-cooked meals with a latin flavor and was never really interested in owning a cook book.

I haven't had a chance to read more about Julia Child, but I found the movie to be interesting because it details the adventure of a blogger who writes a blog about her challenge to cook over 500 of Julia Child's recipes in one year. While we watch the story of the blogger, we also see a parallel story about Julia Child as she struggled to write and publish her cookbook.

According to the movie, cooking was primarily a male dominated field in France and Julia Child struggled to get into a cooking school. After she attended school, she co-collaborated on a cookbook that would teach U.S. women how to cook french food. At the time she was turned down by numerous publishing companies because her book was too long and the publishers wanted her to condense the book. Julia stuck to her guns and eventually the book was published.

The storyline is an interesting storyline of struggling female writers who continue to persist in their writing until they get a big break. I thought that at times the storyline dragged on a bit too slowly, but nonetheless I enjoyed learning about Julia Child as well as watching a contemporary blogger develop her writing as a blogger.

What was especially fascinating to me though were the two male roles in the story, Julie the blogger's husband and Julia Child's husband. Both men were very supportive and encouraging to their wives and sometimes took a back seat to their wives' writing and career. Males who support successful women are often hard to come by and are near and dear to my heart, so the two male characters really jumped out at me.

Have you seen or heard about the movie? If so, what do you think about it?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Become an Official Member of Team Bah-Humbug Today!

I hate the Christmas season. I know that I am not the only one out there who I know who really hates it, but so many people out there are just chickenshits and won't admit it! I hate the holiday music, I hate the obligation that you should give people gifts, I hate the Christmas decorations. I hate that I can't even go to the store to buy nylons without having to stand in a line that is too long for my impatient sensibilities. I hate that my family wants me to go over to their house, and I can't even barely stand them. I can go on and on, but you get the drift.

Yesterday on twitter I declared a new official group, Team Bah-Humbug, for those of us grinches who can't stand the season. The official bylaws are as follows:
  • Members will feel the insane need to pull their hair out when they have to listen to Christmas music, unless it is obnoxious Christmas music like "The Twelve Pains of Christmas"
  • Members will try to avoid the store in any way during the month of December and will be pissed when they have to stand in any line if they do have to go to the store
  • Members will be irritated that they are being expected to spend their precious money on people that they might not really care about or people who already have all that they need and don't need another stupid gift
  • Members might decide to just give a big fuck you to the gift giving problem and not give anyone a gift at all
  • Members might decide that instead of all the stupid crap that so many other people might be doing, they choose to do something nice for other people, like work in a homeless shelter kitchen or something
  • Any member caught wearing Christmas shirts, socks or other apparel will have their membership immediately revoked
We've already established that I am the Queen President, and we also have a vice president, secretary and parlamentarian on twitter, as well as two official members.  If you love Christmas then more power to you, but if you don't then become an official member of Team Bah-humbug today!

P.S. Don't forget that our theme songs, and our mascot and idol is:

Can anyone relate to what I'm talking about?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Exclusive Inteview With the Woman Behind Santa

Today my exclusive interview that I had with Twitter's very own obnoxious and sassy "I Am Mrs. Claus" was published on Associated Content. I'm so tired of hearing about Santa, Santa, Santa and it's about damn time that we start learning more about the head bitch in charge who is actually running the show up there in the North Pole! You can find the exclusive interview by clicking here.

While you are at it, check out "I May or May Not Have Applied for a Job at Hooters" over on the Healthy Hip Parenting Blog. I think that it is so funny! You can find the blog post by clicking here.

If you have recently written something funny, scandalous or outrageous on your blog, please feel free to tell us about it here in the comments section!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Idiocracy of a NON Bad-Ass

I just found a video online that literally made me want to vomit. I could barely sit through it and listen to the "go ahead and treat me like shit but it's okay because I love you and want to have your baby" crap. It's so irritating to me because this is the crap that so many young girls grow up on and this is why they are socialized at a young age to just take the crap that some men throw at them. I wish I could rewrite the song to include lyrics to the effect of, "You don't even deserve for me to give birth to your child, jackass". Check out the video and try not to puke:

If any of you tell me that you like this song, please meet me for coffee this weekend so that I can slap the crap out of you!

An Unconventional Love Poem

I've mentioned in the past that I am in a poly relationship with two men. I have two great loves in my life and tonight is my secondary partner's birthday. I'm posting his very favorite love letter that I wrote years ago so that he can get warm fuzzy feelings when he looks at it right on my blog before he goes to sleep (as he's ordered to do each day!):


You bring out the Bitch in Me
when you tell lies about insignificant bullshit
prey on unsuspecting women
without a blink of the eye
This Bitch bestowed upon you
the NAME
for a very good reason
your lies
rub My mind sore
a reminder for Me
to just say NO
to sex with liars

Bizarre? Well, you know me!

Brainstorming and Envisioning

I've been thinking back as to why I started this blog back in November (although it was actually not even written on until November). I can remember at the time that I finally turned to the internet to help me scratch my itch for wild and scandalous women. I initially started reading many feminist blogs online, which are fabulous, but I still felt that they covered women's issues and not necessarily exactly what I was looking for.

I turned to Scandalous Woman, which is mainly a website devoted to "scandalous women" of history. I am not criticizing the site, because I think it is great, but once again I felt that there was something missing that I have been searching for my whole life. Something that I haven't quite yet put my finger on. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that many of the women covered are European women, white women, or many of the common women of color that are always discussed. There is nothing wrong with the women covered on the blog, because as I said I am a blog reader and enjoy it, but it doesn't fill a need that I have been searching for.

Later I found some sex-positive feminist blogs, as well as adult-oriented blogs that discussed issues of dominant females and similar themes. I became a reader and blog contributor on the sex-positive site "Scandalous Women". Later I fell in love with the edginess of Bitch Magazine's blogs and many other blogs. But I am still out there searching for something that I can't quite put my finger on yet. I'd have to say that of all the blogs, Bitch Magazine is my favorite.

So here you are, listening to me ramble on, trying to articulate exactly what it is that I want to find in the online community, or perhaps create something new from the ground up that I haven't been able to find.

I want to create a space where a variety of different types of women are brought together, a space where we can learn together about one another. I want a space where we discuss the well-known white women that are so frequently discussed, but I also want inclusion of women of color, lesbian/bisexual/transgendered women, politically radical women, sex workers, dominant women, self-proclaimed whores, women with bad reputations, femme fatales, misunderstood women and anyone else who I might not be including. I want a space where readers feel comfortable interacting with one another in order to share their opinions and perspectives with one another. I want a space where I also learn from your stories and about the amazing women that you admire.

To those of you who have been reading and contributing your ideas, thanks for joining me on my journey!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Suheir Hammad: "Not Your Erotic, Not Your Exotic"

I am a HUGE fan of the political activist and spoken word poet, Suheir Hammad. She is so talented and amazing! This is one of my favorite poems that she has performed, which talks about how women of color are eroticized and exoticized.

Can anyone else relate to this spoken word?

Related Resources:
Opening the Gates: An Anthology of Arab Feminist Writing

Food for Our Grandmothers: Writings by Arab-American and Arab-Canadian Feminists
women's literature, feminist poetry, feminist literature, suheir hammad, women of color, feminism, feminist poets, arab women writers

Hang on Tight!

We have started a facebook page for those of you who are on facebook and would like to receive updates about Bad Ass Femmes on your facebook account. You can find the facebook badge to join on the right side of the blog a few scrolls down. Please feel free to join, make comments, and post information about your favorite bad ass women!

I also just recently created a twitter account specifically for updates from the Bad Ass Femmes blog. I am sure that some of my readers follow my personal account on twitter, but as many of you know I am sometimes a tad bit over the top sometimes so I wanted to create a twitter page specifically for the blog and not so much about my personal thoughts. Feel free to join the twitter page by clicking here.

I've been sporadically updating the blog over the past six months or so and I've decided that starting now I am going to make a commitment to update the blog on a consistent basis. I've had a life-long love affair with chasing after the stories of phenomenal and renegade women and now I'm ready to immerse myself in my passion. So sit tight and hang on for the ride because at times it might be a little wild! There might be times that I write about feminists or famous women, but other times I might write about whores, prostitutes, dominant women, sexuality or tell my (or your!) personal stories.

Thank you for joining me on my journey!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Bad Ass Finds: Frida Kahlo Christmas Ornaments

A couple of days ago I mentioned that I am going to blog about some special finds for that bad-ass-take-no-prisoners woman in your life or for yourself! Today online I was searching online and I found some cute Frida Kahlo ornaments to hang on the tree. It's almost Christmas time and so I don't know if they will come in time for Christmas (if I don't decide to speed order them), but what the heck-I've always been known for being unconventional so I'll hang them up all over my house until after the new year. Why not?

If you don't know who Frida Kahlo is, then I suggest that you need to get your rear end in gear and learn about what a fabulous woman she was!!

You can purchase Frida Kahlo ornaments at Cafepress by clicking here.

You Also Might Like:
Feminist ornaments
Sonia Sotomayor ornaments-our first Latina Supreme Court Justice
Strong Women ornaments
Femdom ornaments
frida kahlo, frida kahlo artist, frida kahlo art, feminist, women artists, frida kahlo accessories, frida

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Two Ruthless Books That All Ambitious Women Should Read

Many women who enter the workforce and wish to attain influential positions are often ill prepared for the political power plays that encompass high-level positions. As women we have often been taught as children that we should "get along" with others and not be too overly assertive. While we most definitely do not need to act like men in order to achieve high levels of success in our careers, it would certainly behoove us to learn the tools and tricks of the trade when it comes to power, persuasion and influence. The following two books are excellent resources for women who wish to master the art of power:

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene: Women are underpaid and under represented in the management workforce as well as in other high-power careers. When we do eventually attain a high-level position, we often face a workplace environment wrought with sexism, sexual harassment, and male privilege. Women aren't raised as to how to play the power games with the big boys, but this book will give you all the tools that you will need to take over your own empire. Many of the laws are completely ruthless, but it's important for women to sometimes utilize some of the rules as well as recognize when other people may be using the laws of power against them. The historical vignettes included in each chapter are indispensable to those who wish to learn more about the power plays of historical figures. This book is the best out there for people who need to learn more about office and work politics, as well as earning and maintaining powerful positions.

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
: This excellent book is a perfect companion to The 48 Laws of Power and should be on every career woman's reading list. The book demystifies the art of persuasion and influence by outlining ten different types of persuasive or anti-persuasive personality archetypes. Many readers will refine their understanding as to which type of seductive personality they may have, or will discover what it may be about their personality that is anti-seductive. The book also summarizes eighteen personality types and explains the ways in which each personality type is most likely to be influenced by another person. In addition, the author details the phases of the seductive process and outlines how to strategically seduce, persuade and influence other people. Women who read this book will begin to immediately recognize various personality types in order to determine the tools and strategies that should be employed in order to persuade and influence others.

If you purchase these books, read them diligently, and perfect the techniques contained within each book, you will rule the world in no time at all.

Purchase the books:

Would you be interested in reading these books in an online reading group? I've read them over and over and I would love to read them and chat about them with other women. I'm certain that I can get my partner in crime, FeminaPrudentia, to run an online book discussion of the books with me. If you are interested, please let me know!

You Might Also Like:

The Corporate Dominatrix: Six Roles to Play to Get Your Way at Work

The 50th Law

Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word: A Woman's Guide to Earning Her Worth and Achieving Her Dreams

Read the original article written by yours truly on Associated Content.
feminist books, leadership books for women, women leaders, women in the workplace, women and power, feminism, the 48 laws of power, the art of seduction, power and persuasion, female leaders

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Bad Ass Finds: Sassy Calendars for Women (and the Men Who Can't Get Enough of Us)

It's that holiday time of the year where some of us are scrambling to find gifts for others because some of us waited until the last minute. I've decided that every day until Christmas that I am going to blog about special finds that I think would be really great for that bad-ass-take-no-prisoner woman in your life. Hell, or maybe you should just buy stuff for yourself. Why not-be unconventional and spoil yourself a little!

The first gift that I will of course be buying myself is "The Daily Bitch" 2010 calendar. The "includes your daily dose of recommended bitching" tagline caught my eye. The Amazon description says that it has sassy and witty comments that we wish we could all say. I have a suspicion that I am going to LOVE it! Click here to purchase "The Daily Bitch" on Amazon.

Or perhaps you or someone who you know has not yet unleashed their inner bad ass? In this case maybe the "Bad Girl's 2010 Calendar" would be a great pick. The calendar includes daily reflections and to-do lists and suggestions in order to "rage against the good-girl machine, every single day". LOVE IT! I definitely think that I am going to buy it for one of my timid friends who has been living vicariously through me for too long! Click here to purchase "The Daily Bitch" on Amazon.

I love Ann Taintor paintings and I bet this calendar is going to be a hoot. Ann Taintor has some really obnoxious and witty sayings on her drawings, yet it is done in such a subtle way. If you don't know who she is, you definitely need to find out. Her calendar is just one part of her larger empire of books, postcards, magnets, cups, and the list goes on and on. She is so feminist and sex-positive in a conservative 1950s sort of way. Click here to purchase the Ann Taintor 2010 Wall Calendar from Amazon.

Check out some other calendars with similar themes in the Bad Ass Femmes store!
gifts for women, feminist gifts, christmas gifts for women, calendars for women, feminist calendars

Saturday, December 5, 2009

On My BookShelf: "The Robber Bride"

I've always had Margaret Atwood's "The Robber Bride" on my bookshelf but I've never got around to actually picking it up until just yesterday. I've only read a couple of chapters so far, but I was immediately sucked into the book when I read about a conniving femme fatale who steals all of her friends' husbands and lovers. The theme of it somewhat reminds me of Toni Morrison's book "Sula", where her friend steals her husband. I'm excited to see if the plot develops and if Atwood makes the character sympathetic or whether she is just a complete bitch. Check out the book for yourself by clicking here.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Am I Really A Feminist, or a Female Supremacist??

I've got such a complicated relationship with feminism that it often boggles my mind. I used to always consider myself a SuperFeminist, but over the past five years or so I've been of the persuasion that feminists are aiming too low.

You see, I don't believe that as women we should be striving for equality because deep down in my heart I don't think that we are equal to men. I think that we are better than men, and no one has seemed to convince me otherwise.

Over the years I have had my disputes with other feminists. I've often heard them say, "Women haven't even achieved equality, and yet here you are talking about superiority?" Or on other occasions I have been told by some feminists,"I don't think that one sex is superior than the other sex, because I believe in equality. Men can do some things better than I can do, and vice versa".

Yet I still believe deep down in my heart that women by nature are superior, even though many of us haven't realized our true potential. We're still better than men even though equality for women in many aspects hasn't surfaced and although society attempts to keep many of us down. Maybe a man is more skilled at doing something than a woman, but this doesn't mean that he is superior to her-it just means he is more skilled in a certain aspect.

I've always had this idea that women are exalted beings ever since I was a small child. Last year my aunt told me a story of something that I said when I was six years old. This is what she told me:

I was six years old and we were looking at a small dog shaking her body, while the dog hair was flying all over the place. I asked my aunt, "Tia, why does the dog lose her hair?" My aunt responded, "God makes them like that". So I started shaking my body all over the place and I told my cousin that we could also lose our hair by shaking. My aunt informed me that we couldn't lose hair by shaking. "Why not?" I asked her. My aunt tried to explain, "Because God didn't make us like that. It just doesn't happen". I replied to them all, "Well, can God's husband make us lose hair?"

So, ever since I was a little girl I have always viewed "God" as a woman, even though the mainstream notion of God is that he is male. I've always viewed nature as female. Femininity has always been divine and superior to me. Yet at the same time I recognize that many women have yet to have realized their true potential.

If the true place for women in the social structure is to achieve equality with men, then why are we such a threat to men? Would men really be that threatened if we were equal to them? Don't you suppose that deep down inside men know that we are not their equals, that we have the potential to be superior, and this is what really truly freaks them out?

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Monday, November 23, 2009

Look Who Came Out on Top, Chump

I've long become accustomed to working with macho jackasses who try to talk down to me. Sometimes I want to slap them upside the head, but I have learned over the years that sometimes the less that I say, the more they will get out their own rope and hang themselves. So I just zip my lip and keep quiet.

Today was one of those delightful days.

There is this guy at my work institution who has been talking down to me for years. There is always a constant power struggle with any decision that I make and he always feels the need to try to criticize many of the things that I do at work. Many years ago it used to bother me, but now I just love to sit back and let him underestimate me.

And oh yes, he always underestimates me.

Today this guy organized a business lunch with someone "important" and throughout the entire meeting he talked nonstop about himself and all of his qualifications. He actually started talking on my behalf, answering questions for me, explaining what I do for my job, and on and on and on. I was getting so irritated and it almost occurred to me that I should shut him up, but I just decided that I really didn't care to put in any effort.

I sat there for almost two hours barely saying anything. Every once in a while, I asked the person who we were having lunch with a couple of questions about his business and services, but other than that I just pretty much sat there. Quiet, patient and calculated.

At the end of the lunch meeting, the "important" (for lack of a better term) person reached for the check and I grabbed it first. I said, "I'll get both of your lunches".

The important person said, "Well, I'm not accustomed to that. Usually I pay for the lunch. I have an expense account, and you know that I'm a pretty macho guy". Yes, I swear, he really said that.

I just wanted to subtly throw in a little something different into the mix.

Nonetheless I strutted over to the register and paid for both of the meals. We shook hands and parted goodbyes. After the important person left, the macho guy from work talked down to me the whole way back to the office about how I should have talked more to impress this man, blablabla. I literally had to listen to this macho idiot talk my ear of about his wonderful self and all of the great advice that I should learn from him all afternoon long.

Tonight I came home from work and the telephone rang and lo and behold it was the important person asking me if I wanted to do some consulting on the side for his business. I mentioned that I wasn't really that familiar with his area of specialization and he told me that he needed a fresh way of looking at things from an outside perspective. He didn't need to see my resume, he said, because the few questions that I had asked him at lunch were exactly what he was looking for.

What's the motto of the story? Just turn the cheek and laugh inside sometimes when they are are talking down to you, ladies, because with hard work, patience, and strategic thinking we will still come out on top. And always remember that a kick ass woman can still get her way even when she is quiet as a mouse.

Other than that there is no motto. Just gloating=)

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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Express Yourself, Don't Repress Yourself

Well, all I've got to say is that this song pretty much sums up my life story. It's my theme song. I'm never sorry about anything that I say, because I say what I think and what I really believe in. I'm usually bound to offend someone sooner or later, but I never regret anything I say.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Strong Women: Feminist Poems of the Week

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I rise.
(Maya Angelou)

I'm constantly looking and searching for feminist poets, feminist poems, or poems written by females that portray women in a strong, positive way. Here are some of my favorite poems written by women about women:

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
: You can never keep a strong woman down. This poem reminds me of my post that I wrote yesterday. They can try to hold us down, try to make us feel bad, try to silence our strong voices--and yet we will still keep moving forward.

Siren Song by Margaret Atwood
: A poem of the mythical siren's song who seduces men into sinking their ships.

Please Fire Me by Deborah Garrison: A poem about those damn alpha males in the workplace. I bet this is exactly what some of those women on "Mad Men" think every day that they are at the office.

You can also find other poems in my previous post here.

What are some of your favorite poems about women?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Twin Foes of Strong, Confident Women

There is an aspect of human social behavior that every strong and ambitious woman knows like the back of her hand. In fact, bad-ass strong women become so accustomed to this certain aspect of human social interaction that they can spot it in a person immediately. What might it be, you ask? Well, jealousy and envy, of course.

When I was about eight years old, my grandmother called me into her bedroom and told me, "Your enemies are going to be celos and envidia because you are going to be somebody, mi'ja". Jealousy and envy. I didn't quite understand what she was telling me at the time, but I've since had plenty of years to get to know my two mortal enemies well.

There has never been a time when I can't recall being subjected to jealousy and envy. Grown ups and loved ones have always explained away people's incomprehensible and asshole behavior as being caused by jealousy and envy. It's always perplexed me as to why people would be jealous or envious of another person, because I could really give a rat's behind about anything that other people are doing.

Jealousy and envy towards a woman in power causes people to do such crazy things. It's the reason why less competent co-workers talk down to us and speak to us in a tone that suggests that we are idiots. It's the motive behind the times that people leave strong women out of the loop, give them the wrong information, or withhold important information from them in a workplace setting. It's the fuel that starts the incessant rumors about women in power-how they got promoted, what kind of personal relationships they have, what their appearance looks like, and other petty bullshit.

And yet we keep rising. We're immune to all the hell and fury caused at the hand of jealousy and envy because we believe in ourselves. When people spread lies and rumors, try to block us and hold us back, and try to put us down it does not deter us from our path because we are strong, confident women who are unstoppable in our goals and ambitions. We've learned over the years the fine art of letting the things they do and say to try to hurt us slip right off of our thick-skinned backs.

They can never hold us down, no matter how hard they try.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween!

I figured that I would post one of my favorite paintings by the biggest baddest Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo. In this painting you can see Frida sleeping on her bed with a skeleton hovering over her. She was always obsessed with images of death, perhaps because of all the tragedies that she had in her life. She was a product of the Mexican revolution, she beat polio at a young age, survived a horrendous trolley accident when a pole went through her pelvis and vagina area and broke her pelvis and back, and many other devastating health issues throughout her life.

Here's the painting:

You can read more about Frida Kahlo in my beginning series about Frida Kahlo:
An Unconventional Woman of Her Time-Frida Kahlo
Frida Kahlo-Woman of Myth, Contradiction and Resilience

One of these days I'll get back to finishing my series. Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What Would You Like in Your Coffee??

OMG this is too funny! polkadotjunkie put the link in my post that I wrote the other day about my boyfriend's mother telling me that I should serve him a plate of food:

Feminist Fairy Tales: These Magic Boots

This is how I plan on indoctrinating my kids if I ever decide to have children. Yes, I said indoctrinate:

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mi Pobre Hijo, My Ass

Tonight I heard something come out of my boyfriend's mother's mouth and I wanted to ring her neck. It's not as if I haven't heard what she said come out of her mouth before, but tonight I was feeling in one of those moods where it was impossible to tolerate stupid behavior from a fellow woman.

My boyfriend, his mother and I were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about his brother having just placed a bid on a foreclosed house. His mother gave me an apple to eat and I stood up to wash it off at the kitchen sink. As I was standing there, she said, "Mi'jo [my son] wants a plate of food".

I turned around to look at him because we had just eaten prior to going to her house. He stared at me with a smirk on his face, because I'm sure that he was well aware that shit was going to soon hit the fan and sparks were going to start flying.

I said, "We just ate. He doesn't want anything".

She said, "Oh, yes he does. I know he does. Please serve him a plate of food."

Are you antagonizing me, bitch?

I said, "If he's hungry he can make a plate for himself".

She said, "Oh, mi pobre hijo!!! (my poor son). He has a woman who doesn't even care if he starves to death."

I flipped around and told her, "If your pobre hijo wants something to eat, then he can make his own damn plate. And he can serve me a nice plate too, while he's at it".

Then she said, "Oh, I wish he would have married a nice girl like Marielena. She would have given him a plate".

Who, the Marielena on the corner with four kids and a cheating husband? Marielena the doormat? I don't think so.

I sat there for another twenty minutes and listened to her whine about whether or not I would ever marry her son, how we should live together, when will we ever have children, why will I not baptize my children if we ever decide to have children, blablabla. I wanted to slap the hell out of her, but honestly she is very, very ill and I just didn't have it in me to beat the shit out of a sick, old lady. So I just let her go on and on.

This is the thing about so many Latina mothers that makes me want to vomit. This kind of mentality has been shoved down my throat since I was a wee little girl. I'm so sick of watching Latina women baby and coddle their pobre little hijos. It happened to me as a child with my brother, it happens in my family, and I've even seen some of my former friends do it when they have little boys. Enough already, please. I would like to hope that my generation is not pulling this same crap, but deep in my heart I know that many of them are.

It's little things like these, that even happen in our very own families, that the unconventional women of the world have to deal with on an everyday basis.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Down With Judgmental Feminists

Something happened online today that has irked me. I will not call out a certain person, because I don't really want to publicly flog another woman. (Well, unless she's a right-wing neocon or something).

Nonetheless, I am pissed at a certain online feminist who has been continuously making negative statements about certain women. I'm tired of her snide remarks about prostitutes and women who she considers to be whores.

I suppose that I am in that whore camp, say it loud and say it proud bitches. I've have my fun in the past with no-strings attached affairs, I've dabbled in online affiliate porn marketing, and I know a ton of people who work in the sex industry.

It's really funny. At one point, this feminist threw a passion party and discussed that she really loved it. Ohhhh rreeeeaallllyyy? I'd pretty much classify the lady who is selling the sex toys at that passion party to be a big ole legal sex worker.'m.concerned. So, this judgmental bitch employs a sex worker and then turns around and slams women who are in the sex industry? Ridiculous.

I've had my share of this type of judgmental feminist in real life and online, thank you very much. It's always hilariously entertaining to me when they blog or talk about certain women in the past, read the books or poetry of certain women, obsess over women artists, and then turn around and criticize openly sexual women. I practically roll around on the ground laughing my ass off because most of the famous women who they are talking about were scandalous and indulgent whores. Hehe.

There's no fun in being a jealous little prude!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fuck All You Bitches

Warning-rant alert.

I'm so royally irritated with people today that my post probably will be as incoherent as hell. But I suppose even an incoherent rant will make me feel better.

I'm so sick of petty, immature, I'm-still-in-highschool types of bitches at work. So very tired. It's totally contrary to what my soul believes about women and feminism. Fuck all these assholes-I'm just gonna throw in the towel and they can fucking wallow in their own damn oppression for all I care. I'm not going to fight their battle any more when they are apparently okay with being shit on.

And most of these fucking Latina bitches around me make me want to puke my guts out. If I have to sit around a bunch of Latina bitches who tiptoe around men and "Yes, Mr. so-and-so" them anymore while the men call them by their first name....I will just vomit. I can't fucking take it anymore. I suppose that catholic church taught you bitches how to serve your master well. Yeah, I said it, cabronas.

Excuse me pendejas while I'm getting ready to go to bed to face a ten or twelve or even fourteen hour day tomorrow because I want to make this world a better place for the children who live in this community. This community that you bitches used to live in, that you left, and you now think all these kids should bow down and kiss your ass because you drive in and out of town quickly to fuck up these kids--you know, that thing that you do all day that you *think* is called teaching?!?!

While I'm busting my ass on my long day tomorrow, I sure know what you'll be doing. Why, you'll be on facebook talking all your shit about me, my training, my employees, *GOOD* teachers who love the kids and you bitches are completely jealous of. You'll be spreading lies about some of those young and enthusiastic female teachers-ruining their reputation, isolating them and trying to drag them down into your fucking highschool cestpool.

Or maybe you'll be busy whining about some policy that I wrote, or didn't write quickly enough. Or bitching that something isn't mandatory, and then bitching because something is mandatory. Or you'll be reporting ME to the union because YOUR stupid bitch lazy ass didn't do YOUR fucking job. Or writing really stupid and rude emails while cc'ing it to everyone and their mama. Asshole.

And then after all that you'll be sending me emails kissing my ass, asking me for a letter of recommendation, asking to work for me while you are on vacation, and otherwise kissing my ass until you are blue in the face.

So you are on your own this week bitches. I'm only pulling my eight hours and nothing more. And you'll notice that I'm gonna snarl at you this week instead of my cool, calm and collected demeanor that I usually maintain. Snarl at you and file away all of those facebook screen shots and emails that'll be useful one of these lovely days.

In the meantime, I'll be hanging out with or helping women who want to uplift other women, or maybe even nursing the wounds of some of the young ones who you jealous bitches have torn apart.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Workplace Chameleon

I've always been the type of person who likes to compartmentalize my life. Many years ago my work life, my personal life, my friends, and even my hobbies seemed to all be intertwined. Over the years though I've grown to compartmentalize each of these aspects of myself.

I work my ass off all day long and I tend to not want to hang around with any of the same people who I see all day long. In the past, I've been stabbed in the back by people who I once trusted in the workplace context, so I'd prefer that people know as little about me as they need to know. I prefer to keep my relationship with my boyfriend and my outside-of-work friends and things that I do pretty top secret from people who I work with. I bust my ass off all day long and I just want to come home and have my own little sanctuary away from work.

I'm sort of like a chameleon, with the masks I slip on and off changing according to the situation I am in. I'm one person when I am at work. I'm a completely other person when I am outside of my typical workplace and am working on consulting gigs. I'm at my purest sense of self when I am online and with some of my closest friends. But underneath it all I am sort of really the same person, morphing and playing different roles in various contexts.

Take the workplace context. I want to curse all day long, insult people, shout out that they are a jackass. I'm thinking all of this delightful stuff, of course, and yet I can't just run around and act in such a manner because it would scare the shit out of some of the timid types of people who I am supposed to be leading.

So I walk around, wear a mask, and try to play somewhat *normal*. If that makes any sense. I mean, I try not to scare the shit out of people and intimidate them. I try not to stare at people too hard with a poker face, try not to speak in too "direct" of a manner where it makes half of the employees shake in their fucking boots. I try not to be too dominant, too assertive or too aggressive. It's like being on a fucking stage all day long.

Deep down inside though, they all know that I am just going through the motions and I'm not showing them all my cards. In fact, you should hear the rumors that swirl around about me. I'm larger than life. I'm always shocked when I hear the latest rumor, or the latest thing that I've supposedly done or said. As I sit here writing this blog, I'm chuckling to myself at some of the silly teachers on facebook with open profiles who are writing complete nonsense about me. They're grasping at straws, really.

Ahh, social media! Thanks, ladies, for fueling my imagination and giving me a few new masks to wear at work the next time I see you. Or maybe I'll choose a persona that's completely opposite of what you think about me.

I'm going to have tons of fun with this over the next few days.

Connoisseurs of the 48 Laws of Power might immediately recognize a few of the laws of power, no? If you are unfamiliar with the laws, rest assured that we'll talk more about how women can use them to their advantage at a later time. Another book that's been helpful in refining the masks that you might wear is The Corporate Dominatrix: Six Roles to Play to Get Your Way at Work.

Frida Kahlo Book Giveaway Winners

I threw everyone's name into a basket and picked the following three winners of the Frida Kahlo biography:
  • Linda
  • Marcia
  • Walking Queen
Please send a mailing address to badassfemmes(at)yahoo(dot)com by the end of the week. If you don't send your mailing info by Friday, I will pick from one of the remaining people who wanted the book!

~Thank you~

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Women and Money: Don't Let Yourself Get Screwed

Lately I have been thinking a lot about women and money. More specifically, I've been mulling over how women get screwed over by a former loved one when it comes to money.

I first started thinking about it when I was writing my blog post about the movie Capitalism, because I mentioned in the post that around the time of the stock market crash that the majority of the women in my workplace had no idea of how their money was invested because their husbands handle most of the investment decisions. On my planet, this is a possible financial disaster waiting to happen on so many levels.

I thought about it even more when I just recently watched one of Joy Behar's shows. She had the comedian Kathy Griffin on the show and Kathy discussed having divorced her husband because she found out that her wonderful husband was stealing money from her.

Yesterday I was reminded yet again of the topic of women and money when I read online about Absent Minded Oracle's husband putting her into a financial hole. And yet another time when I read in a post about how Single Mom Survives lost her dream home that she had worked so hard to get when she went through the divorce with her husband.

My lovely breakfast this morning was yet another reminder of this particular issue.

I just had a lovely brunch with my mentor and she told me about the story of her divorce. She had been married to her wonderful and financially successful husband for over ten years. He was a brilliant man and made almost $300,000 over twenty years ago. He was a wonderful husband and father. She had everything that she ever wanted.

She was a college professor and one evening when she arrived at her house there were a ton of police officers and an ambulance carting her husband away to the hospital. The police informed her that her husband had suffered from a drug overdose and was being transported to the hospital for recovery.

She claims that in retrospect she never saw any inkling that suggested that he was a drug addict. What he always portrayed to her was nothing but a hard worker, a loving provider, and a doting husband and father.

Throughout the weeks, she found out that her husband first became addicted to cocaine and his addiction later morphed into heroin. He begged for her to give him another chance and he entered rehab. Being the doting Catholic wife that she was, she gave him another chance because she wanted to make it work for the sake of her one year old daughter. He admitted to her that he had been spending thousands and thousands of dollars on drugs over a period of a couple of years. She never noticed it because he was making tons of money and he took care of most of the finances.

They began to rebuild their life together and she started to be more assertive regarding the finances. She opened up a checking account in her name and began to monitor his finances so that she could keep tabs on whether it appeared that he might be using drugs again. Everything seemed to be going well, until one day when she went to the bank.

She went to the bank to make a deposit from her personal checking account and she was told that the $30, 000 that had been in her account was gone. Apparently her husband had somehow convinced the bank manager to give him a card with his name on it. How he was able to get a card, she will never know. She suspects that it may have had something to do with the fact that her husband had made business connections in the banking and finance industry.

My mentor packed up her child, left him for good and filed for divorce. It was then that she found out that for over five years he had been taking out loans from those fly by night loan companies, so that she would not notice that money was missing from his banking account. He had accumulated over $250, 000 in debt. She also discovered that all of the money that they had been diligently saving in their retirement account was gone.

During the divorce, he quit his job and disappeared for a couple of years.

She told me that she ended up paying over $100,000 in debt. In retrospect, she claims that she should have just filed for bankruptcy, but at the time she never considered the option. It took her over ten years to pay off his debt. Ten long years and now she's got little money in her retirement account.

"If only I would have asked to see the bank statements in the beginning. If only I would have checked my credit report on a frequent basis, I would have seen that there were loans being opened in our names. At the time I didn't even know where to look at the balance of our retirement account, and didn't find out that there was no money in the account until after I hired a lawyer during the divorce", she stated to me.

I've heard my share of these types of stories from friends, family members and co-workers who have gone through divorce. And I always ask myself, "How is it that these women had no inkling that their husbands were financially ruining them?"

But this doesn't only happen to women who are married to shady men who bleed them dry and then divorce them. Women can financially suffer by going through a typical divorce and later losing what they have worked so hard for because they have to share the assets or they can't afford to maintain their standard of living on one income. Women can be financially screwed if their husband dies. Or, women can be married for their entire lives and be screwed later in their retirement because their husband didn't invest any money. The list can go on and on.

Moral of the story: Protect yourself by always knowing about your finances, even if you are married to the best man out there because your wonderful husband might not be financially savvy himself. If you don't know the first thing about money, investing, etc, then I suggest you get your ass to work and start learning about it. It's a lot less intimidating than many women think.

Do not let yourself get screwed. By not knowing where your money is, you might be putting yourself in a bad situation.

Has something like this ever happened to you or a woman that you know?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Three Smart Asses You Should Meet

I love smart asses. So here are three smart asses that you might want to get to know:

Absentminded Oracle: She's a smart ass, a meanie and can be as feisty as hell at times. I'm so delighted in her smart ass behavior that yesterday we just discussed awarding *Team Mean* awards to bitchy bloggers. Absentminded Oracle is a psychologist and can drink like a sailor. You might remember her from her guest post here on Nikki Giovani. She also goes by @pinksugacupcake on twitter.

Single Mom Survives: She's another smart ass who can make any sailor blush with that feisty mouth of hers. She's funny as hell and has a strong snark streak. Even her little four year old daughter is following in her footsteps! She blogs a lot in a smart ass way about issues with being a single mother. Single mothers are near and dear to my heart, and most especially so when they are of the obnoxious persuasion! She goes by @singlmomsurvives on twitter.

Mely Speaks
: She's a newly single mother who blogs about being newly single and is currently hitting the pavement looking for a job. I have tons of fun reading her blog! Mely is an undercover sex kitten and oh wait, is she really undercover? You can find her on Mely Speaks and she also writes for Sex and the Mom. She goes by @melysas on twitter, but you will need to send her a request to follow her because she recently protected her updates when she found out her mother was reading her twitter stream and had a meltdown over what she saw!

Do you know of any other smart ass bloggers??

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Pigs Get Slaughtered

I went to see "Capitalism: A Love Story" today. I desperately want to blog about it, but I've been at a loss as to which blog I should include it on. I first thought about writing it on my Stocks and Bondage blog (hehe, you probably think I'm kidding about that blog, don't you??), then I thought that I should also put it on this Bad Ass Femmes blog. Why? Because I think that if there is one thing that a kick-ass-take-no-prisoners kind of woman should understand is...everything that has to do with money.

I'll first start with a couple of disclaimers. I am a woman full of contradictions. First off, I am a big ole capitalist whore. At the same time I am a big ole socialist whore. Every month my mailbox is just as stuffed with Forbes and other money magazines as it is with socialist newspapers from various socialist parties. I read the Wall Street Journal online just as much as I read the socialist Monthly Review. In reality, I believe the theoretical principals of capitalism can be just as distorted by humans as the practice of socialist theory. I also personally believe that we need a little bit of both, a blend of both systems.

Second, I own tons and tons of stock in huge companies. And I have made tons and tons of money off of these very large companies. I'm partly complicit when these companies fuck the little guy. At the same time, I have always considered myself to be a social justice advocate and believe that in a perfect world wealth would be distributed evenly. But it's not. And I refuse to sit around and be the tonta (i.e., idiotic) martyr and fuck myself over just because I want to prove a point. If we are living in a capitalist system, I am going to learn the game and benefit myself and others.

One might say that I have done very well for myself, financially speaking, but I don't bat an eye in the least when people discuss raising taxes. If that is the only think that I have to be concerned about, then I'd say that I am in a pretty privileged position. I make more money so I should make a more sizable contribution to this world. However, although I am a big fat capitalist whore, I would gladly cut my yearly earnings in half in a heartbeat if it meant that everyone in this country were able to be on the same playing field.

Now on to my conflicted ideas of the movie.

I love Michael Moore. I've seen everything he has ever produced, read everything he has written, and love, love, love him. I'm sure Michael is living such a life of similar contradictions-right Michael?

Yet I couldn't help feeling conflicted throughout the whole entire movie. I felt that there was a missing link.

Don't get me wrong-oh the horror of those big ole capitalist wolves fucking over the little guy, fucking over our country and then standing there with their greedy hands out demanding money for the disaster that they caused. I'm always giddy when I see someone sticking it to the big man and exposing all their dirty laundry. But really, are they the only ones at fault here?

Notwithstanding the poor people and old folk who were completely lied to by many of these companies, but are these greedy capitalists the only ones complicit in this debacle? No! Not in the least.

There's an entire aspect of the whole situation that is visibly missing from the movie. Throughout the entire movie, I thought to myself, "When do consumers also take responsibility for this mess?"

I personally know of more educated, upper middle class people than working class people who lost their homes because they got one of those ridiculous mortgages. Greedy middle class and upper middle class consumers who bought into the propaganda of the mortgage companies and other large companies merely because they also are greedy little pigs who wanted something that was too good to be true. In fact, I told numerous people on numerous occasions before all of this occurred that they should not get the mortgages, and yet they failed to listen and later lost their houses.

I'm talking about people who earn at least $80,000 or more, and most of them are married with two incomes. People who should know better. People who could have afforded a decent priced house, but decided that they wanted what they couldn't afford. I knew that they were getting duped, so am I supposed to feel sorry for them because they got fucked over? I most certainly don't. Some of these people make more money than me when they combine their incomes.

Before the stock market crashed, I watched these same greedy little fellows pour money into the stock market like a bunch of fools. One educated idiot at work borrowed money to buy stock, pulled money out of the equity in his house to buy stock, and gambled the stock market like he was in a casino. I repeatedly warned him what any non-idiot would know, "You DO NOT borrow money to invest money". I warned over and over and over. He would come in, puff up his chest and explain to me in a patronizing manner that he would use the money from dividends that he earned in order to pay off his debts for borrowing the stock. And then boom-one day he lost everything.

As the saying goes, "Bulls make money, bears make money, and pigs get slaughtered". If you invest in the stock market and don't know what I'm talking about, I suggest that you get off your ass and find out. And if you're a greedy pig and let the big men in suits dupe you, then quit pointing the finger and accept your own complicity in the matter.

When the entire stock market crashed on a historical level, I went to work every day and talked everyone's ear off about the whole mess. Seventy-five percent of the people (who all make over $100,000 per year, by the way) didn't even know that the fucking stock market had crashed. Throughout the month they didn't even seem to be concerned. Most of the people that I spoke with didn't even know how their money was invested, and they didn't seem to have a fire under their ass to learn about it even in the midst of a financial crisis. Most of the women told me that their husbands handled all the investments. Now these same people are bitching that the big bad capitalists ruined their lives.

If a poor little girl like me from an east Los Angeles barrio can grow up to take responsibility for her finances, then so should everyone else.

The part that's missing from the whole movie is the episode where the big bad capitalist wolves ate alive the greedy pigs and the sheep who weren't paying attention. And the scene when the pigs and sheep served themselves on a golden platter to be eaten alive by the wolves.

Thank ya very much. Feel free to send me love or shoot darts at me in the comments section.

Coming soon-financial books that all women must read if you want to save yourself from being burned.

P.S. I'm not saying the big bad wolves aren't bad at all. I think someone ought to stick it to them and hang them in the public square.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

"Boys Will Be Boys"

Once upon a time there was a wee little lass who never really fit in with any of the other little girls. She thought that playing with dolls and having crushes on boys was a pretty stupid pastime. She preferred to spend her free time at the library reading everything that she could get her curious little hands on, while at the same time dreaming day and night about ruling the world. (Because she was obsessed with "Pinky and the Brain", of course).

In fact, she never really fit in with any of the boys, either. When the boys were busy running around snapping the bras of the little girls, grabbing their butts or breasts, or ridiculously and homophobically chanting "I pledge allegiance to the flag; Michael Jackson is a fag", the little girl was busy knocking the boys over, beating them at tetherball/dodgeball/soccer/you-name-the-sport, and otherwise putting them in their ridiculous little places.

The little girl began to hate some of the boys who snapped the girls' bras, who made prank calls about sex and orgies, who grabbed the girls butts and breasts, and harassed the girls in other ways. She hated them with all her might and will. And she also began to stay away from some of the other little girls who would giggle and act like they liked the attention when the boys would snap their bras or grope at their body. It wasn't long until many of the little girls started to stay away from her, too.

One day the little girl was called in during recess to talk with her teacher. Her pretty female teacher said to her, "Why is it that nobody really likes you? Why don't you have any friends? I notice that you don't really interact with any of the other girls".

The little girl said, "Because they always want to talk about boys and I want to read and talk about what I'm learning. The boys snap their bra straps and grab their butts and they don't say anything. When I tell the boys something if they do it to me or when I hit the boys back, the girls tell me that I shouldn't do that because the boys are doing it because they like me."

"That's true", said the teacher. "They only do that to you because they have a crush on you."

"But I don't like it. I want them to leave me alone", the little girl stubbornly responded.

"Boys will be boys. When you get older, you will understand. That's just the way things are. Now, go play with the girls", the pretty teacher sighed.

The little girl ran outside and instead of playing with the girls, she ran off to play with Mario and Carlos, the only two boys who she didn't hate with all her heart. After they played soccer, they laid on the cool grass under the mulberry trees to chat for a while.

As the little girl laid on the grass and looked at the group of girls and teacher across the playground, a small seed of mistrust began to ferment in her inner core. Little did anyone know, but that was the day that the wee little lass wrapped herself up in a cocoon and started to cautiously peek out of it when other females approached too closely.

To be continued.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Book Giveaway: Frida Kahlo

I just remembered that I tweeted that I was going to have a Frida Kahlo book giveaway, and then I was packing for vacation and I completely forgot. If you are not familiar with Frida Kahlo, well all I can say is that she is the biggest, baddest female artist of Mexico. She was a very unconventional woman, to say the least. In fact, in the past I started to blog about her here and here. So here goes:

I will be giving away the book Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo by Hayden Herrera to THREE readers. In order to participate in the giveaway, please leave a comment about 1) why you admire Frida or 2) another bad ass bitch that you admire, and what it is exactly that you admire about her.

Your name can be entered into the drawing an additional time if you tweet or blog about the giveaway. If so, please leave an additional comment with the url of the blog or your name on twitter.

The giveaway will end next Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 at midnight. The winner will be posted here Sunday morning. Good luck!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Mad Men: The More Things Change, the More Things Stay the Same

Dear "Mad Men", where have you been all my life? Seriously.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been seeing people tweeting about AMC's show "Mad Men" and I didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't until I decided to cancel my cable (thought it sounded good at the time) and watch my television on the free website when I actually discovered the show. Last week I started watching an episode of "Mad Men", which I absolutely loved, but I couldn't really carry the story because it seemed that so much had happened in the previous seasons. Coincidentally, I received seasons 1 and 2 as a gift this week.

If you have noticed that I have been missing in action, then it would be absolutely correct to assume that I have been locked away on my computer watching all of season 1 and 2. And I'm totally enthralled with it. I love the fashion, the cut throat industry of advertising, the drinking, the smoking, the affairs, and everything else.

Right before I started watching it, a male tweeted to me, "You'll finally realize how much has changed for women since 1960". Or something to that effect.

Really though? Has much changed? The women are all in the secretarial arena (of what I've seen so far, minus the one female secretary who manages to move up as a copywriter). Many of the men are incredibly sexist, and the women in the office also perpetuate the same sexism on one another in the form of criticizing one another for how they look, act and dress and how it will have an impact on finding a husband. If you haven't seen the show, I am sure you can just imagine all the sexism.

So has sexism really fundamentally changed since then, or are men just scared that they might get sued for acting like the sexist pricks that many of them still are??! I am a female in an upper management position (the only female, by the way) and honestly what I see on an every day basis is pretty much a covert mirror of what was overtly happening in this television show. I'm called "sweetheart" or "honey" by men who are below me on a frequent basis. I watch the higher management prey on some of the secretarial staff. I have to sit and listen to men make completely sexist jokes to one another while in my presence. I have been sexually harassed by inferiors, although many men refuse to acknowledge that a woman who is above a man in position can be sexually harassed by someone below her.

In season one there is one episode where a female secretary is asked to work on an ad account for a "weight loss" device which actually happens to have a vibrator in it. She stands in front of all the male executives and has to listen to them make sexist jokes about their wives as well as sexual jokes. And she just grins and bears it. She doesn't say a word.

Oh...but that doesn't happen any more to women in the workplace, right? Ask any female executive in upper management and I will bet that she will beg to differ. I am an extremely dominant woman and it has happened to me more times than I can count. Sometimes I say something, but sometimes I don't; it depends on which battle I feel like picking on that particular day.

Read memoirs of female CEOs and executives and you'll hear all about their battle scars and how they sometimes call them on their shit yet sometimes use other assertive tactics. I once had to get in one of my colleagues face and tell him, "Oh, you want to have a pissing match, do you? Well, draw the fucking line in the sand. I can assure you that I can pee farther than your sorry ass while I am standing up. Now stop fucking with me because I will squash you". Sure I just wanted to report him to someone for being a sexist pig, but I knew that aggressive behavior and getting in his face would work better with that bully. And it did.

We've always had bullbusting women who've climbed their ways up kicking, screaming and clawing the eyes out of sexist jackasses-then, now and as far back as we can remember. Even if we don't hear about those bad ass early feminists, they've always been around putting men in their place.

Regarding the dynamics of the female workers in the show, I just blogged last week about my secretarial staff who happen to be all up in my business about whether or not I am going to get married or have children, what I am wearing, what I wore last week, my shade of lipstick, blablabla. They gossip, they flirt, and some look down on women who are divorced. I swear, to watch some of these office women back in the 1960s in the show is practically like looking at half of the women who work in my office.

And don't get me started on doctors. In one episode, the female character goes to see a male doctor to get birth control from a pervy doctor. He tells her that if she sleeps around he will immediately take her off the birth control pill because men won't want to marry a hussy. Oh, this stuff definitely happen any more, right? Well, I think one of my good friends would beg to differ. Last year she was denied birth control by the pharmacist on duty at a national pharmacy because the pharmacist told her that she was committing a "mini-abortion" every time that she took the pill. Ha. I'll save my own personal story about a certain emergency room perv doctor for a later post when I explain why I will NEVER go to a male doctor again.

So really, not much has changed since the 1960s. It's just a tad bit more covert than it used to be, at least in my opinion. What do you think?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Keep Your Mind Off of My Ovaries

I can't stand people who can't mind their own business when it comes to my fucking ovaries.

It's hard enough having to listen to a bunch of men and other right wing assholes try to control the reproductive rights of women. So it's even more irritating when people start giving me fucking unsolicited advice about having children.

It seems lately that everyone that I work with just can't stop talking about me having children. Don't these people have a fucking life?!

It all started two months ago for some strange reason when my secretary blurted out that she couldn't wait until I had children. We were sitting in my office discussing the budget and she just threw that one sideways at me. Since then she hasn't stopped, and now other people in the office have jumped on the bandwagon.

At least three days a week, I get to sit and listen to people tell me how they can't wait to see me have a kid. "It will soften me up", "Every woman should experience it", blablafucking bla. Get over it, already.

It's the most bizarre thing-they actually get together in a little circle and talk in an excited manner about how great it would be for me to have my very own screaming little shit stained kid.

I have decided not to rip their fucking heads off because I think that all the women in the office are just trying to find some way to connect with me, and maybe in some sick way they think that they are nurturing me.

Sometimes I want to be really mean by faking alligator tears and telling them that I've been trying to have kids for years and I am completely unable to have children. I have a fantasy of sobbing my heart out. I would love to see the guilty look on their faces.

I mean, really, can you imagine? What the fuck is wrong with these women that they actually think that they can sit and discuss how I'm "almost getting too old to have babies"? For Goddess's sake-I'm only 33 years old.

I even found out the other day when I overheard them talking that they all know exactly when I am on my period based on my mood, my energy levels, and apparently when I bring in a big bottle of excedrin. One clerk commented to another, "No, she can't be pregnant because she just had her period like last week". Lord almighty.

I just never thought that I would have to call female employees into my office and tell them to stop talking about my personal business.

Just stop already. At this moment I don't want children. Maybe I never will. But I can assure you that if and when I ever do decide to have children, that they'll probably know that I'm pregnant before I'm even aware of it.

Get a hobby, bitches!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Sing it Sista: Rock On With Your Bad Self

I've always loved Annie Lennox since I first saw her when I was a young girl on MTV in that suit, tie and short hair cut in the "Sweet Dreams" video. I can remember being so intrigued with the lyrics: "Some of them want to use you; Some of them want to get used by you; Some of them want to abuse you; Some of them want to be abused". Bruhaha. That was probably about the time that I started torturin' the boys!!

Then came "Missionary Man", and I so ecstatic that I was born with the original sin that I went to church and told the nuns that I wanted to be a fun sinner like Annie. Um, that didn't go over very well, as you might have suspected. That was about the time that the nuns told my mom that she shouldn't have MTV.

And I'm still lovin' Annie Lennox. She's still rockin' her bad ass self all these years. This is the one her more recent songs that I'm loving.

I've always loved her unconventional beauty and gender bending. Annie ROCKS!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Labor Day Book Giveaway

In honor of the upcoming labor day weekend, I'm giving away the children's book ¡Sí, Se Puede! Yes, We Can! Janitor Strike in L.A. written by Diana Cohn.

The book is a fictional bilingual story about the Los Angeles Justice for Janitors Campaign in the year 2000 organized in part by labor activist Dolores Sanchez. The book tells the story of Carlitos' mother as she goes to work every night as a janitor after she tucks him into bed, only to see him again briefly in the morning before he goes to school. One day Carlitos' mother comes home and tells her son that in order to make more money and buy medication for his grandmother, she must go on strike. Carlitos watches his mother make union speeches on television, and one day Carlitos goes to the picket line carrying a sign, "I love my mamá! She is a janitor!"

This book is a great book about working class Latina and immigrant labor activists!

The giveaway will end at 8:00 Pacific Standard Time, this Wednesday.

To win-(participants have the potential to submit their name in the raffle up to four times):
1 entry: leave a comment with your email address

2 entries: leave a comment about your favorite female labor activist

3 entries: tweet about the giveaway (please leave a comment with your twitter link) 4 entries: blog about the giveaway (leave a comment with the link to your blog)

Thanks for Making Me a Fighter

Dear Any Enemy or Player Hater that I've Ever Had,

As many of you know, I'm like the fucking energizer bunny-there's no stopping me when I set out to do something. I accomplish what I want, when I want and I don't let anyone let me tell me otherwise. You've tried to derail my plans, persuade me against doing something, told me that I wouldn't be successful or something wouldn't work, and all such jealous hogwash. You've slandered my name, turned weak people against me, and tried to make it hard on me.

Yet I still come out on top, bitches. People like you have kept me on my toes and keep me at the top of my game.

Fuck you very much!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Crazy Nymphomaniacal Penis-Envying Fucked-Up Frigid Bitch

In the feminist novel Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen, the female character Sasha Davis visits a male psychoanalyst in order to discuss being miserable in her marriage and her perceived "frigidity". The novel takes place in the fifties and sixties, so of course the therapist tells her that if only she embraces her feminine true self then she will be able to be happy. You know, her main problem is that she needs to set aside her penis-envy and get with the program, right?

At one point in her therapy session, she discusses with her therapist her need to have extramarital affairs. She considers leaving her husband, but the therapist advises her that she shouldn't make any drastic decisions. Sasha reflects to herself, "He seemed to feel that the known was better than the unknown, another man would prove no better for me than this one, and a crazy nymphomaniacal penis-envying fucked-up frigid bitch like me was lucky to have hooked any man at all".

Gotta love it.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Caster Semenya: Poking, Prodding and Proving "Gender"

I was just reading online that the South African teenager Caster Semenya who won an 800 meter gold metal is possibly undergoing "gender testing" in order to prove whether or not she is a genetic female. The verification includes "a physical medical evaluation, and includes reports from a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychologist, an internal medicine specialist and an expert on gender".

Bullshit. I'd like to know how many men would allow themselves to be subjected to so much poking and prodding in order to determine their sex!?

I'm sitting here thinking of a couple of possibilities. The first thought that comes to my head is that age-old stereotype that men are faster and stronger than women, so therefore people are accusing her of being a man because they can't fathom that a woman can leave everyone behind in the dust. I'll bet that's exactly what's going on here.

It seems that any time that a woman KICKS ASS and takes names, people drum up tons of explanations for said ass-kicked-ness such as: she's a bitch, a lesbian, she eats her young, she slept her way to the top, she's not really a woman, blablafuckingbla. People just can't accept that many women are take-no-prisoners más-chingona-que-la-fregada bad ass divas.

Beyond that possibility, I could really give a shit. If she was not "genetically born" as a female is really none of our damn business if she happens to live her life as a woman, as far as I'm concerned. It just seems hard for me to believe that a man would be able to impersonate a woman all the way to the Olympics, so that's not even a possibility that I will even entertain at the moment. With all those doctors and tests, it sounds to me like it's a possibility that she might be transgendered, but then again it's none of my fucking business and it doesn't matter to me anyway.

You can read about the story:


You can also read more here, which discusses that this has happened before to women athletes, as well as male impersonators of female athletes.